Some thoughts on fear

During the past few weeks, the media has extensively covered the coronavirus situation. While of course, it is important to take precautions, just as one should for flu, I also believe that during this time, it is important to rest on God’s promises in scripture.

Psalm 91 is one that is especially appropriate. Below, I have copied it, with the bold print my own emphasis. This psalm promises that if we put our trust in God, and dwell in Him (as occurs when we become Christians; we are then in Christ), that He will protect us.

I have heard several online videos about what the virus is supposed to mean. I choose not to share my own opinion here, but do feel that being in fear is not the answer. Instead, trusting the promises of (the true) God, that He will take care of us, is. As believers, we have great authority, and that includes over fear; we can choose to experience peace, and not panic.

My prayer is that this psalm is a blessing to each who reads it; it is very appropriate during this time.

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say  of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.If you make the Most High your dwelling– even the LORD, who is my refuge–then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.”Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Resources: Books to Promote Healing


Over the years, I have read numerous books that have been helpful during the healing journey. Here, I will share what I believe are among the best. This is not a comprehensive list; there are many other excellent books. If any seem interesting, you can search Amazon to find a copy.


First, several books that address important aspects of Christianity and Healing:


Rebuilding the Real You by Jack Hayford. Based on the book of Nehemiah, it provides an awesome illustration of what healing – even while struggling – looks like.


Praying God’s Word: Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds by Beth Moore. Moore provides a list of various topics, including rejection, depression, and many others, and provides extensive lists of scriptures to address each, stories from others who have dealt with the stronghold, and some prayers about the topic.


Grace and Forgiveness: Learning to Give the Gift of Forgiveness to Others and Ourselves by John and Carol Arnott. I have read this one three times; it is an excellent study on what forgiveness is, and is not; and has stories that show the benefits of choosing to forgive.


Outsmarting Yourself: Catching Your Past Invading the Present and What to Do About It by Karl Lehman, M.D. Lehman offers excellent insights into why we react the way we do, even when we are unaware; and how to pray to the roots of what is going on.


Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller. Keller asks the really hard questions, and this book helped me through a time when I hated God because of the pain I had been through. It didn’t make it “all better” but it did provide insights and an understanding of the struggle that goes beyond the normal quick “pat” answer.


The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman. Allender’s books are always good, and again, he asks great questions that don’t minimize the impact of abuse, and shares how others have dealt with them.


Secular (Non-Christian) Books that Promote Understanding Healing


Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse by Allison Miller. All of Miller’s books are excellent, and this is an outstanding workbook/self-help guide for survivors.


Coping with trauma-related dissociation: Skills training for patients and therapists by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele and Onno van der Hart. Published by therapists, for therapists but with information helpful for survivors, it is a thick book filled with information about dissociation and how to work towards healing.

I would love to hear from others who read this blog on what books have been helpful to you, to share with others.

The Role of the Genetic Parents in Programming

In other articles, I have briefly discussed the role of the birth mother in programming, if prenatal programming is done by a group. But there are two other individuals who are also important to programming: the genetic father, and the genetic mother.

While often the genetic mother (who is a cult member) does not carry the child during pregnancy (this role is given to a “carrier” or “birth mother”), she will be an important part of both the prenatal and post-natal programming. During pregnancy, due to the generational inherited sin in their DNA, the genetic mother and father will be part of important programming sequences designed to foster both the acceptance and love (reward) and rejection and punishment that are foundational to programming. The unborn child and the newborn baby recognizes spiritually their genetic parents.

Once the child is born, the genetic parents are often present at the initial rituals done to “welcome” the infant into the world with a sacrifice. They may state how glad they are to finally see the infant; but they also make clear the spiritual and performance expectations for the infant from its first breath. The genetic father may place a demand upon the newborn to receive a demonic spirit, in return for life. Both genetic parents, as well as the primary trainers (the parents may also be trainers) will blame the infant for the death of the birth mother, causing confusion: the infant knows that the adults at the birth did the real murder, and the infant then comes to realize that the adults he or she depend upon for survival are not only dangerous, they are liars. In order to survive this unbearable reality, the newborn will often dissociate.

The genetic parents teach the infant a terrible reality: that survival requires pretending, listening to lies from the adults around the infant, and pretending to believe them. Part of the infant always knows the truth: that the things they are told to believe are not true. But the infant’s survival depends upon pleasing its parents and trainers, and so the infant will dissociate, and create parts designed to make the lies believable.

For example, in a typical setup during infancy, an infant will be told that one of the other infants is “bad” and “deserves to die”. The infants in the room are all aware of the real truth: this other baby was just being a normal baby, it did nothing worthy of death. Infants are incapable of adult thought and predetermined action, as imputed to the supposedly “evil” baby. But in order to survive, the infants all agree to believe this lie, and watch wide-eyed as one of the other infants is put to death in front of the others. The message to believed is given during this trauma: “bad” (disobedient) babies die, and “good” (obedient babies” live. This message is incorporated into traumatized parts.

When the genetic mother or father tell their child that he or she is loved, or good, or accepted, the child responds in a unique way. Biologically, the infant is wired to respond to these individuals, and spiritually, their spirit understands that these are the individuals whose DNA conceived them.  Messages of love and acceptance have even greater importance than from others, especially if the infant is allowed to interact with them to any great degree.

The genetic parents will most often be the individuals who give the child over to Satan or another spiritual entity that the cult group worships.  This follows a spiritual principle, in which the genetic parents have the greatest spiritual authority over the child, and their doing so gives the ceremony a greater spiritual impact, keeping the generational iniquity for the bloodline continuing.

It is often the genetic mother or father who first chains a child to an idol, or leaves the child alone in a room where a demonic entity is expected to enter, and “teach” the child. This spiritual giving the child up to the demonic becomes an important area to address, when becoming free of this type of control.

Becoming free of generational occultic abuse will include looking at the role that the genetic parents held, and breaking all soul ties, sexual ties, ritual ties, and others. It will involve breaking the curses, vows, covenants and agreements made by and with the genetic parents.  Finally, at some point, the survivor will need to be willing to forgive their genetic parents for the abuse, manipulation of attachment needs, and dysfunctional role modeling that occurred.  This forgiveness cannot be rushed, though, as the survivor needs time to examine both the love, and the hate, that they felt for these individuals. The need to dissociate between loving and hating the genetic parents (and other cult caretakers) in order to survive, is one of the foundations of early dissociation, and healing this will take time.

Healing from Dissociation: Some Steps

Note: this is an excerpt from the New Training Manual for those who support survivors that will be published next year. Used with permission.

Healing from Dissociation: Some Steps in the Process

People don’t dissociate when they realize they no longer need it. The issues that cause dissociation to continue include emotional conflicts that the dissociation solves (such as how to continue to live with an abusive parent or spouse; or the desire to prevent torture or punishment of the self or loved ones by an abusive cult).

To heal, these conflicts will need to be resolved over time, as trust is built.  This normally happens within the context of a safe counseling relationship, supported by the survivor’s “community” or people who are safe and supportive that they interact with.

The goal in healing is to allow some attachment to individuals who do not hurt the survivor, while the tasks of building the skills for doing inside work and developing safe support are worked on. As the survivor builds trust and confidence, and feels safe, they will often share more of their internal reality with the counselor. This is a collaborative process: the client is encouraged to share without feeling judged or criticized.

As trust and safety are experienced, some of the deeper issues the survivor struggles with will often come forward. The survivor may fear attachment within a relationship, and may sabotage relationships that support healing (by acting hostile; withdrawing; forgetting appointments, or pushing “hot buttons” for supporters). As healing progresses, and internal parts come forward to “meet the counselor” or friends of the survivor, they may project feelings onto others that they themselves experience. Examples can be when one part of the survivor cares about and trusts the therapist, but another part comes out that is hostile, convinced the counselor is trying to “trick” them into trusting, or will eventually hurt the survivor. This is a form of re-experiencing in the present emotions and feelings that are caused by past events, and the survivor will need help in sorting out what is past, and what is present, reality in relationships.

If the client is seeking reparenting, they may discover that if they are in crisis, the counselor responds more quickly; and may develop constant “crises” in order to receive attention or support. If this occurs, the counselor can address this directly, provide compassionate feedback regarding the behavior, and develop a plan with appropriate boundaries that will meet the needs of both the survivor and the counselor.

Early Phase of Working with a Survivor

Many survivors will state that their goal is to “integrate” and “get better”; often as quickly as possible. What many counselors and survivors do not realize is that healing – and the process of integration – begins during the first session with a therapist or prayer minister and continues over time. It is a process, not a “point in time”.

Early in counseling, safety issues will always take first priority. Because many individuals with severe trauma and DID struggle with self harm issues and/or feeling suicidal, it is a good idea to ask directly: “Do you ever want to hurt yourself?” or “Do you ever feel suicidal?” during the initial history. If the individual indicates they struggle with these issues, a full suicide risk assessment should be done, and a plan to prevent acting on these impulses developed. This will include a list of who to call if they feel this way (including crisis help lines); and referral to a mental health professional if you do not have clinical training.

If the survivor has an eating disorder that has caused their weight to go dangerously low, there may need to be planning done, that includes hospitalization if the weight goes below a certain point. The survivor may need to attend alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, or in a program to help them give up addictive behaviors, if present.

The counselor should also assess whether abuse is still ongoing when an individual presents with DID. This includes asking whether their spouse ever physically beats, slaps, threatens, rapes or otherwise hurts them; or whether there are threats or physical abuse from family members if the individual is living at home. At times, the individual with DID may initially be unaware that they are currently being abused, and over time, this information will be shared as trust is built. It is important to do safety planning, and provide referrals as needed (such as to a women’s shelter, etc.), to provide physical safety for the individual.

Emotional safety is also important. The survivor may need to learn skills in setting healthy and appropriate boundaries in order to feel emotionally safe. This may range from helping someone recently divorced from an abusive spouse realize that they can arrange to have a friend with them when their spouse comes by to pick up a child in a joint custody arrangement, to helping a survivor decide how much contact, if any, they wish to have with an extremely abusive family of origin.

Beginning education about dissociation and DID, if these are present, should be done as well. Many times, individuals struggling with DID will believe that the symptoms they experience (such as hearing internal voices, losing time, or acting like completely different people) mean that they are “crazy” and they will be afraid. Helping the individual you are working with understand what causes dissociation, and that it is a treatable disorder with a good prognosis, will help relieve some of this anxiety. Take time to answer the questions and concerns that are often raised. 

Once safety is established, the survivor will need to learn some basic skills before they begin to work on trauma memories (ISSTD, 2011). These skills include:

Learning to identify the emotions they are experiencing. Many survivors have never learned to be aware of when they are feeling emotions, or how to label them. They often describe feeling “numb” or “a little funny”, but have never been able to share “I feel sad”; “I feel angry” “I feel helpless” with someone who is safe. Learning how to be in the body, and how to identify emotions, is an important skill that can be learned. Emoticon charts can be used for this purpose; or, asking the survivor to stop and try to identify what they are feeling from time to time. Over time, the survivor will use this skill to identify the emotions they felt during trauma as it is brought up into conscious awareness, for processing.

Starting to build communication inside between parts. Studies have shown that individuals with DID who do the best work with their dissociative states (Gabbard, 2014; Steele, Boon, Van der Hart, 2017;  Knipes, 2015). This is a process, with the individual first indicating when they are aware of a switch; or, they may try to depict parts using various methods such as drawing a house to represent them, and creating pictures of who lives in the house. Some survivors prefer to collage; or to use dolls to depict who is inside. Right brain activities, such as art, music or inside imagery can be used to help get to know “who is inside”. Some survivors imagine a conference table inside, and invite others to come and join them at the table, letting Jesus be in charge of the meeting.

Building communication can be encouraged through journaling exercises, with parts invited to share what they like and don’t like; or what they wish for, as well as their fears and concerns. Collages can be created on themes such as “what childhood was like”, or “my favorite things” with various inside parts encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings.

It is important that both the helper and the survivor do not “judge” these parts, regardless of the conflicts or issues they present. For example, it is not uncommon for survivors of sexual trafficking to have highly sexualized parts inside whose only reality before coming forward has been to invite sexual activity. While the individual needs to take responsibility for the actions of these parts (which are part of him or her), it is important to not apply labels such as “bad” “demon” or attempt to “get rid of the part making all the trouble”. Instead, it helps to adopt an attitude of caring curiosity, to help explore with the survivor how this part helped them cope with what was overwhelming to them. Once they realize they are not being condemned, or judged, and their concerns are listened to and addressed these parts will often quickly agree to help others inside, and can become an important part of the healing process.

Identity or Demon?

Survivors of ritual abuse will often have internal identities programmed since early childhood to believe they are “demons” (see chapter on programming for more information). This parts needs to be differentiated from actual demons (the parts will likely have a demonic attachment), and treated with compassion as a coping response to an extremely painful reality. Often, the “demons” are actually young, frightened children inside who have been given difficult jobs internally such as punishing parts who disobey, or frighting parts who talk to people outside the cult group. Attempting deliverance on alternate identity states will not work (the parts will simply not budge, laugh at the minister, or go deep inside, feeling wounded, hurt and angry, and deciding that Christians cannot help them. Helping the survivor help these parts, valuing how they helped them survive their past  instead of trying to get rid of them, will promote communication, healing and stability inside.

Over time, the survivor may begin to have parts co-present, with two or more parts presenting at the same time. This can help build further trust, as the parts learn to work together and share information. Eventually, co-consciousness will develop, with the barriers between parts blurring as increasing amounts of information are shared, and parts actually “share the same mind” as they become aware of what the other is thinking and feeling, and may even blend temporarily.

By increasing communication, and working with the counselor, the traumas and conflicts that created the dissociation will eventually resolve.  As the conflicts are resolved, instead of constant fighting between parts (as may be seen early in counseling), increased cooperation between inside parts occurs, with working together for common goals.

Helping the survivor learn skills to cope with distressing emotions is also important before approaching any trauma memories during a session. These skills can include:

  • Learning to feel “grounded” (or, present in currently reality) when panic, rage or other intense or painful emotions come forward. This can be accomplished using various techniques, such as using touch (feeling a soft blanket; holding ice for a few seconds in the hands, feeling the feet on the floor); smell (smelling a fragrance; or a sharp smell such as a lemon); sight (opening the eyes if they are closed; looking around the room and identifying two objects that are blue, or any color chosen; looking out the window and describing three things seen, etc.); hearing (listening to music; describing two sounds they can hear). The main thing is that the survivor becomes aware of the present. If they seem “tranced out”, you can softly touch them on the shoulder and speak their name (get permission beforehand to do this, and explain why you will be doing it). It is best to practice these techniques together, and then ask the individual to practice them at home during the week, especially if they feel triggered or experience emotions or flashbacks.
  • Mindfulness techniques: this is being aware of being present in the body, in the present moment. Doing this can be combined with thinking about a comforting or helpful scripture the survivor chooses, to help them stay in the current moment.
  • Deep breathing: when someone feels anxious, they often will breathe rapidly. Learning to take slow, deep breaths while being aware of the feeling of taking air in and out can help a person feel calmer. This can be combined with grounding thoughts such as “it isn’t happening now, it’s in the past” (if a flashback is occurring) or “I can make it; this feeling won’t last forever.”
  • Containment exercises: using visual imagery can help with containing emotions or memories that feel overwhelming, until they can be worked on together with a support person. This can include creating a box to place the feeling in temporarily, with the promise to open it later when someone else is present to help (this promise needs to be followed up on); or creating a room where memories and emotions can stay until they can be worked on in a safe setting.

During this early part of healing work, and throughout the healing journey, the survivor will be working on building trust with you and their support people. This includes learning how to have a healthy relationship, which is something the individual may have never experienced before. It is not uncommon for a survivor to enter into prayer ministry or counseling with behaviors learned over a lifetime to keep people away (which felt safer), and to struggle with self-sabotaging the efforts of others who care and want to help.

Learning healthy relational skills is learned by teaching (explaining what healthy boundaries are; or how to approach confrontation in a healthy way) and by modeling: the survivor will be watching you closely to see how you respond to different situations for cues on how “normal” people act, especially if they are aware that their family of origin was dysfunctional. As the survivor interacts with individuals who are not dissociative and who are safe, such as friends they develop who are not part of their past abuse, they will also have an opportunity to practice these skills. They will then begin bringing into sessions the conflicts, hopes and fears that these interactions bring up, which allows further opportunities to learn relational skills, and promote healing inside.

If the survivor is in a non-abuse marriage, and they report conflicts or the marriage is failing, you may want to refer them for marriage counseling. There are also resources available in print and online for the spouses of individuals with DID, that can help them better understand the issues. It is a good idea to have at least one or more sessions with the spouse present, when the survivor feels ready, to discuss their condition and what can be done to help support them, and to answer questions and concerns.

Part of learning relational skills will include the host/presentation learning to take responsibility as a whole for the actions of all parts. If the survivor is a parent, they will need to learn to act as an adult around their children; and learn appropriate boundaries for behaviors. This is usually accomplished over time as communication with parts is established, and negotiation with parts regarding behaviors can be done.

Dealing with Negative Self Thoughts

Most survivors of severe trauma struggle with negative messages about themselves: “I’m ugly” “I’m worthless” “I’m nothing but a whore” “Only Satan could love me, everyone else hates me” “I will never heal, I’ve been hurt too badly and there’s no hope”, etc. While healing of the issues and traumas will be how full resolution occurs, initially, the individual can practice self-compassion, or thinking positive thoughts and using images of self-compassion to help reduce the strength of these messages.

This can include “God loves me, and so does ________”, filling in the blanks with supportive people in the survivor’s life. Or, “Even if I don’t feel this way yet, I am valuable, I have skills and gifts that are unique to me” “I survived my past, and can now survive remembering it, because I have support now, I’m not alone” “Nothing is impossible with God”, etc.  It can help to develop a list of these messages that the survivor keeps taped to a bathroom or other mirror as a reminder. Imagery can include taking some time to hold oneself, giving the self an internal “hug” and saying “It’s okay, I love you” “You did the best you could under very difficult circumstances, and it was good enough” “Each day, I’m healing a bit more” or other messages meaningful to the survivor.

Primary Emotions that Drive programs

While various groups program in different ways, there are some universal principles regarding programming that most groups do utilize. This includes the use of emotions to drive programs, with the emotions held by very young parts.

These emotions can be categorized into both negative and positive emotions, and can include:

  • Guilt: this is developed within very young parts (fetal parts, for international groups) for a reason: if the person feels tremendous guilt, then they will believe that they “deserve” the abuse, or programming, and will be less likely to fight it. This guilt can be created in various ways, such as:
    • Hurting the birth mother, and having the birth mother blame the fetus (in fetal programming, the birth mother is the first “programmer” since the fetus will attune to her voice and emotional state)
    • Infant traumas that cause guilt, such as blaming the infant for the death of the birth mother; or for “killing” another baby, etc.

Because the infant will believe they have done “bad” things, they will begin to believe the script that they “deserve” to be punished, or that they are “evil”. This is the basis for self-punishment and reprogramming sequences (the reprogramming systems will often have a foundational belief that they are “keeping the evil” within at bay, or other reasons, for continuing to do their internal jobs).

  • Rage: Rage is used to drive self-punishment programs; self-sabotage; assassin programs, and others. The child is taught to “give away” the rage to these parts, who hold the rage and then deliver it to fuel the programs.
  • Terror: This emotion, which is often held by a direct core split (as the other emotions described here are, too), will include a primal terror of disobedience to either the trainers, or to a spiritual being (such as Satan). In the prenatal traumas, the fetus will be put through setups in which at first the birth mother, and eventually at some point, the fetus, is given a command which they disobey.  Once the disobedience occurs, the punishment is swift and brutal, and could include the birth mother and fetus being put to death temporarily, and then resuscitated if they vow to “never disobey”; or the fetus being taken out of the womb, exposed to bright lights, cold, and painful shocks or other traumas, and being told that they cannot go back into the womb unless they vow to never disobey; the fetus is told that the trauma outside the womb is “the terror of disobedience” in this cruel setup. Similar setups may occur during infancy or early childhood, depending upon the age the group creates the trauma, such as lowering the child into a deep well; hanging them from a bridge; or lowering them partway into a rat pit, or burying them alive,  to name a few examples.  

In order for the core to dismantle this fear of disobedience, the core and other parts will need to be able to process these early traumas that instilled this feeling of terror. This terror will often fuel retaliation programs if other parts attempt to stop running their programs (the retaliation parts will have a deep terror of the programs stopping, but may not consciously remember why, at first). These prime terrors regarding “disobedience” instilled will often create the conflicts about giving up programs seen in many survivors: while parts want the programs to stop, other parts may be terrified of what could happen if they do; or of facing these early traumas.

  • Despair: very early in life, including in the womb for groups that do prenatal programming, an initial core split that holds intense despair will be created. This split may hold despair due to:
    • Rejection by the birth mother, or another prime mother figure (e.g. being told they want the fetus to die; they want to abort the fetus, etc.)
    • Belief instilled that things will “never get better” and therefore attempting to fight the trainers is useless. This despair is carefully contained within these parts, whose job is in part to demotivate the individual from attempting to dismantle their programs, or to leave the group

When a survivor encounters core despair, it can feel overwhelming. This feeling often fuels internal suicide and omega programs, as well as “don’t bother to try healing, it will never work” programs. This is why having healthy support, and working on processing the feelings at a safe pace, are important.  It is important to balance internal work of this type with experiences that create healthier emotions and satisfaction.

  • Love: this emotion is manipulated, through the use of attachment needs in the fetus and/or infant. Often, trainers will tell the very young child “we are doing this because we love you” and other scripts designed to exact control. The fetus will be told “I love you” by the birth mother in order to enhance the bond, and increase control over the fetus (who will agree to the earliest programming in order to please the birth mother and win her love). There will often be “good babies” (who obey the birth mother and trainers) set in direct opposition to “bad babies” (who are rejected, and “deserve punishment” in these early scripts).  As the child grows, their need for love will be manipulated over and over again, to drive programs such as loyalty programs, recontact programs, and rescue programs (where the individual will attempt to “rescue” loved ones in the group who are threatened, by coming back, if they attempt to leave).

Love for God is also manipulated. The primary trainer will often play the part of “god” in the system, and will show either “love” or “anger” in order to get the infant to respond in the desired way. This includes periods of intentional bonding, during which the infant is held, nurtured, rocked, and played with, to promote loyalty to the trainer and a desire to please him or her.

  • Joy: The emotion of joy may be manipulated as well, as the “reward” side of the programs. When an individual is obeying their programming, they may be flooded with joy and a sense of well-being from these parts, which may include “celestial” or “ascended” parts that have experienced setups in the “celestial realms” in which good experiences occurred. Most punishment systems (such as “hell” systems, etc.) will be counterbalanced with reward systems that show (and feel) the “joys” of obedience. The reward systems will often be discovered much later than the punishment systems, for a reason: the systems often do not want to give up the “good” feelings held by reward systems; but want to be set free from the uncomfortable ones.
  • Peace: In a childhood filled with abuse, control and violence, the moments of peace and a sense of well-being are treasured. These feelings are often created through intentional setups that may include drugs and/or technology, as a reward to the systems for obedience. Loss of this peace is seen as a form of punishment, and is a motivator to continue running programs.

In the false Christian systems, “peace” such as this may also be used to manipulate the individual. If they are praying about a decision, the false Christian parts may cause a feeling of peace if the individual makes a decision that agrees with the cult agenda; and a sense of unease if they are disobeying it. It can take time to work through this type of program, and discern what is truly the Holy Spirit, versus what is programmed in.

These are some of the primary emotions used to drive programming in an individual. Often, parts will share first about how the programs are set up inside; it is often later in the healing journey when the emotions at the base of the programs that actually drive them, come forward. It is as important to process the feelings held by these parts, as to gain the cognitive memories, in order for full healing to occur. This is where providing a safe environment for emotional processing is critical to healing from intentional trauma.

Spiritual Controllers

Note: this is based upon a short book I wrote a few years ago.

Master controllers for a Jesuit spiritual system will reflect the primary spiritual relationships in the child’s life.  Here, several are discussed.

Althea (the Tree of Life)

These will include the “unholy trinity” of the Father (Satan), the Son (the antichrist and the beast) and the Spirit (Althea, the tree of life).  The Fathers worship all three. In fact, the Arbor de Vitae monastery just north of Rome (the primary Jesuit monastery) is believed to be the dwelling place of Althea, the tree of life. This wicked creature lives in the basement of the monastery, and the young children (and adults) will often hear her moaning at night to be fed. And they do feed her, at regular intervals, with sacrifices of every human variety.

The Jesuit children are taught from infancy to participate in these rituals; as infants, the Fathers place their hands over a baby’s, and teach them to make the sacrifice. As the child gets older, they must take a more active role, or suffer severe punishment by Althea (which appears at times like a huge willow whose branches “whip” the child terribly).

No child ever wants to be called down for a spiritual whipping of this manner, and so they quickly learn how to feed the tree very efficiently. After a ritual, the tree will be quiet for days or weeks, but will always begin moaning again to be fed. The child grows up knowing that in order for there to be peace, they must give this entity what it asks for. The child will have been dedicated to Althea, will have a representation of her in their system, and must dismantle it, kick out the spiritual entity, and heal the human part.

Helping the Survivor

When the tree of life is pulled out (only after trauma processing, support, and the system is ready to do so!) the three roots (white, black and silver gray) must also be rooted out, since these represent early infant demonic traumas used in installing the roots of the tree of life and the q’ballah internally. This takes extensive prayer, seeking the Lord, and asking the Holy Spirit to help the survivor overcome the fear of uprooting these demonic strongholds.

The tree of life will often have grown to a large tree with 1,000 points of life, each representing a life taken (including those of infants), and the demonic that entered as a result, during the installation of the tree. These lives must be grieved for; the murders repented of, and forgiveness received, to break the hold of the tree of life on the survivor’s mind.

Some survivors will also have a mirror images of the tree of life, or a “tree of death” internally, that again is based upon the ritual murder of young infants, with the roots attached to the heart of the survivor (they are wrapped around the heart, and the survivor may believe that they will die if the tree is taken out).

The survivor will need to realize that the Lord is able to undo even this type of programming; can overcome the fear of uprooting the demonic. It can help the survivor if they are reminded that the fear they feel is the fear that the demonic feels at losing its “home” inside, and that they will actually feel more peace once the tree is rooted out. They can pray and ask the Lord to uproot it for them; this may be seen visually inside as Jesus reaching in and pulling it out, or as an increased peace as the rituals are repented of, and the person exercises authority.

The relief may be dramatic, or occur over several weeks. But the survivor will have more internal peace and healing once they choose to get rid of this voracious entity, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill them instead.

The Beast

The Beast has a room and a lair in the Vatican dedicated to him. This room supposedly dates from early Roman times, when sacrifices were conducted in the original cave located there that the Vatican was built over. This angry and vindictive spirit makes its presence known, and is eagerly sought out by the Fathers, since they believe he gives great power over enemies. The young child will be placed during the second year of life in a dark, cave-like lair underneath the altar in the Beast’s room. They will spend 24 hours in this lair, where the Beast visits with the child, makes suggestions, and eventually has the child give in to its requests (to kill another child put in with them).

This is extremely traumatizing to the young child, who feels intense guilt. The child will have internalized the Beast (see the above discussion on programming methods used). This internal Beast only knows and understands killing and destroying, and spiritual warfare and deliverance must be done to free the human part trapped by the spiritual part. The Beast also gives energy to the punishment systems described previously, and will demand absolute obedience to it and the Pantheon, until the individual learns their authority in Yeshua, and is able to break free.

Satan

Many times, it can take years of dedicated work to go beneath the tree and beast layers, and reach the true system controller: Satan.  From pre-birth and birth dedication, this is the being the Jesuits truly serve, in both his incarnations: as satan (cruel, vicious, demanding, destructive and lying) and Theo (kind, benevolent, manipulative, charming). The child will have been bonded to both, as described previously.

Satan’s Throne

During the toddler years, at times the child will be physically placed on satan’s throne. When supplicants crawl up the hall on ground glass, or nails, or hot rocks, satan will be sitting on the throne next to the child. He will ask the child what kind of judgment should be made; or what price should be paid for a request, and the child will answer. If satan is pleased with the answer, he and the child will simultaneously make the pronouncement. If the child is too kind-hearted, they will be punished severely until they learn the types of judgment that are acceptable.

This internalizes the satan identity for the core master controller, since the adults treat the child on satan’s throne as if he/she were satan himself, in every way. The child is actually temporarily possessed, in that part, by satan during the ceremonies and judgments. The evil behavior convinces the survivor that he/she is evil and anchors the belief in the part that they are actually satan.

Helping the survivor

 In later years, the adult will have to overcome very difficult memories of the lives taken or asked for when in that role, and the cruel decisions made. They will need to repent of these deeds, and ask the Lord for forgiveness (which He offers freely). It can help to remind the survivor that the Lord knew all about their past, even when they didn’t; that He is not surprised or repulsed by them or their past. When they came to Jesus, He knew all about each act they committed, and forgave them.

They will also need emotional support to process the pain of these memories, and to be treated as loveable, in spite of the horrific acts that they committed. This is a challenge, since many Christians want to “turn away” from those with a past such as this. But the survivor is looking to their therapist or support person to demonstrate the love of Christ to systems that may have no idea of what true Christianity is.

Once they “get it” and realize they are forgiven, these parts will quickly give up their old jobs and choose freedom, if they believe they have the physical safety to support healing.

AddressingCommon Challenges to Healing Work

By Jo Getzinger

Note: the following material is from the upcoming New Training Manual for those who Help Survivors from CARE; used with permission

1. Demonic Control

Survivors of ritual abuse not only need to greatly increase their joy capacity in order to consciously handle their horrific stories held in the unconscious mind; they also often experience demonic control over the emotions, information and parts that contain those memories.  During ritual events, survivors are frequently forced to accept demonic spirits over parts.  Demonic spirits then dictate to those parts the amount of disclosure, if any, intensify traumatic emotions and they can flood memories and traumatic emotions if memories do begin to emerge in order to overwhelm the survivor.  Parts who have cooperated with agreements to commit sin in rituals (these parts are often coerced through threats or punishment and torture) are vulnerable to continued demonic control and punishment due to un-repented sin.  The sin gives ground to the demonic to continue to control these parts. 

Furthermore, parts are often reluctant to accept Jesus and His forgiveness because of the programming to believe He would never accept them; they could never be forgiven for the evil they participated in; and/or through cult trickery the parts are convinced that Jesus is duplicitous, evil, condemning and untrustworthy (parts have been introduced to false Jesus actors who are actually cult members dressed up like the historical Jesus and then participate in evil). Clarity regarding who Jesus really is is important for healing this wound.

Important truths for addressing demonic hindrance to memory work

– God is willing and able to forgive all sin committed by the survivor

– Vows, covenants and agreements made with the demonic, whether under duress or ‘freely given’, are NOT permanently binding and can be broken (the demonic do not truly keep their sides of the agreements anyway). They are also sin and should be repented of, renounced and revoked.

– These spirits are easily removed by the true Jesus as the survivor repents and gives Him permission to do so

2. Vows and Agreements

In cult rituals, survivors are often ordered to take vows and agreements against their healing.  Common agreements in the form of vows are “not to remember” the ritual or traumatic event.  This vow will commonly manifest in the presenter system or host system as saying, “I don’t know” to any question asked that pertains to the traumatic event.  The host is unconsciously repeating the very vow they originally agreed to take.  This becomes a continued agreement with the demonic to keep the information buried in the unconscious.  When the host utters the words “I don’t know”, she agrees to forget again and nothing is remembered.  Through the perceived experience of the host, these words anchor to nothing and she really feels like she does not know.  It is common to find parts in the system with the name and role “I don’t know”.  These are blockers to remembering and healing.  Until the host and presenter systems are ready to challenge vows like “I don’t know” and repent of agreements made with the demonic, memory work will likely be impeded. 

3. Internal Conflicts

In internal conflicts regarding memory work, there are parts who want the memory work to happen, and parts who do not. These conflicts are often invoked by concerns about the ‘cost’ or ‘consequences’ of the memory work: beliefs that memory work would lead to insanity, chaos, destruction or jailtime; beliefs that memory work would cause loved ones to be hurt by the cult; beliefs that God can’t really help with memory work so bad things will still happen, and so on.

Parts who are reluctant to trust the true Jesus have likely been taught to trust only themselves and their own self-strength and self-sufficiency and to do the cult’s bidding because it appear to be the path of least resistance.  These parts were subjected to dealing with the demonic and cult member’s torture, rewards and punishment system from the time they were young. This causes them to readily make deals with the demonic and cult members in order to survive and save love ones.  These loved ones (those who the parts are purposefully bonded to in the cult group) are also threatened by the cult and used by the cult to blackmail the survivor into vows and agreements against one’s own healing and doing evil deeds for the cult to buy time for self and others to survive.  They often believe they have no choice but to continue to cooperate by attending rituals in order to minimize punishment from demonic torture and increase rewards (perceived saving self and others from punishment while receiving other fleshly perks). 

The rituals always require a price to pay to demonstrate obedience and loyalty to the demonic and cult members.  While saving self and those they love from punishment, they are forced to participate in harm to those the cult has chosen as victims.  Frequently, those they love are also victimized but not as badly they are told as these loved ones would be treated if the parts decide to become disobedient to the cult.  The evil deeds the parts are forced to do to show their loyalty and accept vows “not to remember” in order to buy survival for themselves and loved ones becomes a demonically enforced amnesic barrier to the traumatic event.  This is coupled with the fear that the cult and the demonic will carry through with their threats that worse will happen to self or loved ones if the disobedience continues and more is remembered and reported to outsiders.  It is common for survivors to report seeing internal walls that keep the survivor from seeing what is behind the wall.  This can be a self-constructed wall patterned after a real wall where the original trauma took place.   This serves to remind the host that she cannot go past the wall or she will remember what she does not want to see.  There is often forced sacrificing in front of this wall to make a covenant not to remember anything beyond the wall or anything done in front of that wall to seal the memory in unconsciousness.

The internal conflict is the desire to remember and heal while also not wanting to remember because it is too awful to remember and something worse will happen if it is remembered.  Hopefully, the above example of this common internal conflict clarifies why these conflicts need time and work between the survivor and helper together.  THIS WORK CANNOT BE RUSHED.  If the helper gets pushy or impatient with these parts who feel as if theirs and their loved ones’ very survival is riding on discovering the truthful and correct answers to their dilemma, they will withdraw and continue to strike bargains with the demonic and cult members. 

The conflicted part’s questions must be answered to their satisfaction about the historical true and living Savior, Jesus.  There must be time given to them to test the truth of His Word by attempting to give Him some control to see if He is consistent and powerful enough to protect parts from demonic retaliation.  They must have time to begin a relationship with the true Jesus to experience His great love for them.  I have never seen the LORD introduce Himself to parts in an impatient, pushy way.  He is willing to wait patiently and will gently be a helper to them when they are ready to ask.  He is always “an ever present help in times of trouble” Psa. 46:1.  When parts are satisfied that they have their questions answered, the deceptive beliefs that were infused by the cult conquered, and the character of the true Jesus firmly understood and experienced, they will be ready to ask Him to forgive vows they made and evil deeds done.  They will be able to trust Him to protect themselves and loved ones from demonic and cult retaliation instead of continuing to bargain with terrorists for their lives. 

They will need to see from you, the helper, the modeling of LORD’s true character (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control).  Once they see that there are real Christians who do their best to live out the gospel, the host can learn to model the same to parts. They will be drawn to the LORD’s character and love because you and the host have been consistently demonstrating the loving-kindness of the LORD to them.  They will be more open to believing the LORD is different from the example they saw in the cult because of the example of your life and they will be open to experiencing His love directly from Him.  You and the host are often His bridge to these wounded and deceived parts who carry some of the greatest conflicts and obstacles to healing.  We will discuss more on various common internal conflicts in a later chapter.