Processing Mind Control Trauma

The following post was taken from an early draft of Prayer Warrior 2, a book with information about issues related to mind control and programming, and prayers related to these issues. The information was posted with permission from the author.

One of the foundations of mind control is unresolved memories of traumatic events. During the programming sessions, in which traumas such as torture occur, false beliefs are introduced which exert a powerful influence over the survivor until the memories are processed. Survivors can resist programming even before the traumas are processed, but it usually gets a lot easier when the memories are processed. This is because of how traumatic memories are stored in a dissociative survivor: the traumatic experience remains in the sensory and emotional processing areas of the brain which gives a visceral, emotional ‘punch’ to whatever instructions or beliefs the survivor was indoctrinated with during the trauma. This unconscious emotional drive remains until the traumatic event is processed and moves through these areas of the brain through the hippocampus into the cerebral cortex and becomes stored as conscious recall memory.

Also, during trauma, the desynchrony between the more primal areas of the brain dedicated to risk assessment and survival and the higher components of the brain dedicated to moral and rational thought creates a state in which the person will do ‘anything’ to stop the pain or threat. Until the memory is processed as the person is able to realize in the present that the threat felt in the trauma state is over, the individual will struggle with the emotions and beliefs that were present during the event. Once the memory is brought into conscious awareness and processed, the moral and rational centers of the mind will enable the person to evaluate the traumatic event and make meaning of it according to his or her paradigms and values , i.e. the person then has the ability to reject the messages given during the traumatic event and find new ones.

For instance, while processing a memory, a survivor who was told that his/her (forced) participation in a ritual event meant that he/she was evil can reject the lie that he/she was evil and see instead that he/she never wanted to do it and his/her heart was never evil; he/she would have never participated if given a choice. Instead of disowning this part of him/herself, the survivor can receive this part and the truth that he/she was never evil, only coerced beyond endurance at the time.

Programmers will try to prevent such memory processing so they can continue to exploit the trauma to control the survivor. To do so, they may deliberately ‘distribute’ the memory of an event into different parts of a survivor.  Different parts may hold the different sections of the narrative, the emotions, the physical sensations, the sense of time, the sense of self, the thoughts, the actions taken, the instructions given, etc. Fully processing the memory will involve putting together all these different components of the memory, with the help and cooperation of the different parts involved in the memory.

In order to process the memory, the survivor will need skills (which can be learned). These include: knowing how to allow God to lead and help in the process, noticing that it is safe enough in the present to start processing memories, commitment to the process, knowing how to process emotions (these come up when processing memories!), knowing how to regulate and pace the memory process; communicating with parts, resolving conflicts, identifying and understanding ‘blocks’ to the memory work (e.g., denial in the host), containing partially processed memories so he/she can return to them at a later time, managing daily life, sleep, etc. .

Fully processing and healing the memories of traumatic events not only involves ‘putting the different parts of the memory back together’, but it also involves connecting with God, the one who truly cares, in the memory and event itself. God never abandons anyone, especially traumatized children, though the survivor may feel this way as the memory and emotional pain come forward. God is able to reveal Himself in the places the memory has been encoded in the brain, bringing His comfort into the present within the memory and intervening directly where the pain and hurt is stored. His perspective of the event will be the most and only truthful version of the event: the cult will use the trauma to ‘enforce’ all kinds of lies about the survivor, about God, about the cult, such as: “If God/your parents loved you, you won’t be going through this,” “You’re being punished because you are evil,” “The cult can read your mind so never ever even think about disobeying”, “Nobody loves you,” etc. God’s presence and perspective will remove the sting and impact of the trauma on the survivor’s mind and life, as parts connect with His truth about what happened to them, and what those events really meant about themselves.

The process of processing and healing memories can be slow, confusing at times, often difficult and painful but it does bring healing. It deepens the survivor’s awareness of his/her own value, of how he/she fought to retain her own humanity and how his/her heart survived, despite whatever actions he/she may have been coerced into. It deepens the survivor’s relationship with God as she/he understands more and more that He never left him/her and can redeem anything done to the individual, and anything he/she has has done. It opens the survivor up to life, peace, joy and new relationships, as the mind control over his/her choices break. It is a process that is completely worth the effort, and God is close to the survivor every step of the way.

 

 

The Real Agenda Behind the Occult

As I have healed, my parts inside have shared more and more of the “real picture” of what was going on during my life. Early on, I had recovered some memories which were part of the story, but by no means the whole story of my life.  This is due to the fact that healing is a process, and over time, as parts deeper within the system have shared information, I have learned more. Early in my healing, I had only learned about my six brainwave systems (alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, theta) (see my earlier article on this) and had not discovered the six systems that were previously unknown to me (omicron, mu, null, lambda, omega, and chi).  When I remembered these other six previously unknown systems, I remembered more about the cult’s agendas, as that information was held in these systems.

When I was younger, I believed that the goal of occult groups, including the one I was raised in, was to create a “better world” through the coming New World Order.  I truly believed, in my cult host, that I was serving mankind by preparing to help usher in the time of “he who is to come” (link) who after his birth was known as “he who as come” as well as by other names.

I worked hard to improve things, and dedicated to my life to what I believed would be the betterment of mankind. What I had not remembered at that time was the secret held by my core (Chi) system, which was wholly dedicated to Satan: that the group I was in, while publicly stating their desire to bring in new world order filled with joy and peace, was actually committed to the complete destruction of mankind.

The reason for this is simple: they serve Satan, and that is his agenda; he wants mankind destroyed because he hates all men, who created by God, who loves them. The chi system parts were programmed since they were in the womb to absolutely hate God and all men (mankind was labled as “mortals” who were a fallen, descended state) and to desire the destruction of all mortals so that the immortal, or ascended, could reign.

This, in a nutshell, was the theology I was taught while in the group. This knowledge was hidden from my conscous awareness until late in my own healing journey. it was terrible to remember that I participated in meetings with others who were planning and looking forward to the destruction of mortal mankind; or the programming and torture in the womb of my birth mother and I by actors who stated scripts such as “we are mortal men, and cannot help ourselves from hurting you” and other similar ones. Later, these fetal parts were “rescued” by Satan, who then whispered “one day, you will be able to take revenge for what men have done to you.”

Even most of my cult parts were completely unaware of this programmed, hidden (to myself) agenda. Many cult loyal parts thought we were working to create a better, kinder world and it caused deep distress to realize that the real agenda of the group I was raised in was quite different.

What comforts me is the realization that while those in occultic groups are planning these things, their agenda will fail. The Bible has already described what will happen: Satan will make his play for power, using men and hybrids who serve him, and he will not win. It won’t even be a contest, because the God of the Christian Bible is the creator, not the created; and will bring about the real new creation and reign on earth that mankind is looking towards.

The difference? The Christian God truly loves His creation, while Satan despises it. I am thankful that the One who loves me and all mankind, the true God, is the One who will win. Satan’s time is limited; he knows this, so he will attempt to draw men into his plans and schemes. My prayer is that those who have believed himi will become aware that Satan is a liar; and the Christian God tells the truth.

 

Mother Programming

Because occultic and mind control groups manipulate attachment needs, they will allow the infant to bond to a mother figure. This mother figure is nurturing, caring, and may be the only “real mother” love the infant and child has experienced. The goal is to create an association in the young child’s mind between love for a mother, and loyalty to the group (e.g. “loving the mother means loving the group”, etc.)

This aspect of programming is well known among governmental agencies as well. For instance, Russia’s Spetz will have the infants bond to “Mother Russia”; France will have the infant bond to “Liberte”; and the CIA will allow the infant to bond with Liberty as a maternal figure, and the current president as a father figure. These bonds will be in addition to the bonding to their primary trainer  or handler (often known as “Daddy” or “papa” or a variation).

The Jesuits have their own version. The infants raised within their order are bonded to “Mother Rome” (Materna Roma). She is often portrayed on highly confidential seals(not seen publicly) seated on a throne, with two wolves at her feet (representing Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome). This maternal figure holds the infant, nurses it, rocks and soothes the infant, and is invariably loving and kind during early childhood. This is the only real mother figure the infant is allowed to bond to, and in fact, numerous setups are done when a female caretaker allows the infant to bond, and then breaks the bond by eventually abusing the infant. The mothers in the families the child will be hosted with will also reject the child, and not allow bonding. “Mother Rome” becomes the only mother figure in the child’s life he or she really trusts.

This mother allows the child to talk about their hopes, concerns, and fears, and does not attempt to overtly control or program the child, as the trainers do in other settings. Instead, she will listen sympathetically, acknowledge that what the child has experienced is difficult, and tells the child how proud she is that he or she is a “son of Rome” who will help to make the world a better place. The child is told that they are one of a long line of descendants from the original founders of Rome, and will be used to bring in the “Pax Romana” or “Roman Peace” when the New World Order is ushered in.

All children want and need the love of a mother, and the groups that use mind control, including the Jesuits, understand this, and will manipulate it to ensure the loyalty and even love of their agents. The only true bond  is to the “mother” and to see her, the child must return to “home” (the cult training facility). When the individual tries to leave the group they were raised within, one of the conflicts they will often experience is the fear of losing their “mother’s” love.

The mother figure, who is a cult member acting the role, may show great distress, or cry tears of sorrow, if the child ever questions obeying the group leaders. She will act emotionally wounded, and try to help the child understand the need for the tasks and abuse the child is undergoing. In setups during early childhood, the “mother” shows the child the results of a world without her influence (chaos, barbarianism, etc.), and the wisdom of listening to her (peace, order, prosperity and joy ensue).

Time with the mother figure is one of the biggest rewards for an individual who has undergone this type of attachment manipulation. It can be distressing when the individual breaking free from mind control begins to realize that they were tricked by another cult member playing a role for programming purposes; and to sort through the feelings of love and attachment (which were real feelings), from the manipulation and control, and the messages that go against what the survivor wants (freedom from coercion and manipulation).

The survivor may greatly fear the loss of this “mother love”, since the attachment is deep and begun very early in life. It can help to understand that healing does not mean negating what was good (the experience of being loved and nurtured), which can be retained while looking at the whole picture, and realizing that the survivor no longer needs to agree with the group’s agenda or to obey its directives.

 

Growing Up International Part Four: Ages Six to Twelve

I am writing these autobiographical articles to help others understand how some international occultic societies program their members. The information in the articles is specific to the group I was raised in, but many of the methods described are used by other groups.

Trigger Warning: this article contains graphic descriptions of trauma and programming setups

At age six, the members of the top class (‘top’ is decided by the trainers according to the child’s performance in the previous 5 years) within the Jesuits enter the Vatican school. Classes have both boys and girls – trainers assign children to classes not according to gender but by performance.  Other schools for training Jesuit children exist besides the Vatican one, and in all schools, the training will continue until graduation at age 12 -13 (when the individual becomes a full Father in a special ceremony). Military training continues until late teens, with yearly “boot camps” the members of the Jesuit army attend.  Over time, the number of students diminishes (due to deaths during military exercises, or during programming) and by the time the children are 12, fewer children remain than began classes at age 6.

The Vatican School

The Jesuits like to tell their children they are receiving the “best education in the world”. In some respects, it could be called “well rounded”, but it has terrible aspects as well.  A typical day would be as follows:

  • Wake up at 5 am. The school is divided by age into classes of 12 each, separated by age: the six-year-olds are in one class, the seven-year-olds in another, etc. Each class sleeps in rows of beds in the same room, with the class leader taking the position by the door (to answer if anyone comes, and protect the class from any possible threats). Normally, the leader’s “second” and “third” in command will sleep near him or her. I was the class leader for my class, so I slept closest to the door. The signal for waking up is a voice over speakers within the room saying “Today is an opportunity to do great things for the Order; you are blessed to have this chance”.
  • Quick cleanup at the communal bathroom (5-minute showers done together in a large area); dress quickly (easy, since the brown acolyte robes are hung up the day before; this is what the children wear until they receive a Father’s black robes at age 12 or 13, except when they are being hosted in outside families, when they wear “normal” clothes for that country). The children rush downstairs to the communal dining room, where a nutritious breakfast is served. They are allowed 8 minutes to eat (to this day, I eat extremely quickly and never understood why, until I remembered the short times allowed to eat). There may be assigned tasks before chapel that are relevant to the children’s training, such as checking supplies for the military exercises, or cleaning up the lab areas, including the areas where animals are kept, such as primates, for experiments and teaching.
  • After chores, the children go to chapel. This is a time of singing and devotion (to Satan). The children sing beautifully, sounding like a professional choir, but the lyrics are quite different from Christian hymns. The older children and teens at times create and write new songs, if they have musical talent.
  • After chapel, classes begin. The first classes are “gym” with physical training exercises, including martial arts, hand-to-hand combat, and learning to climb ropes, etc. After this, the morning classes are devoted to typical school subjects, only much more advanced since the children are genetically modified for strength and intelligence). Children have already learned to read, write, do math, think and ask questions in a logical manner and so on, before the age of 6, preparing them to begin the more advanced studies in the Vatican school. Classes consist of learning various languages, world and civilization history, politics, economics,  the history of various religions, advanced math, reading classics from every culture (in the original languages as the children get older).
  • At noon, there is a quick break and meal (15 minutes).
  • In the afternoon, there are “anatomy and physiology” classes where subjects (usually, homeless people or those purchased from refugee camps) are used to teach topics such as how to torture (including skinning alive; paralysis points, pain points, how to use knives and other instruments to inflict pain, including heated needles and rods). These classes also include demonstrations of various techniques for killing a human being, from suffocation, to poisons (the children are taught how to administer, and see the effects), to knives, and other methods. The children are given a living human being to “dissect” and learn anatomy from, since this knowledge is essential when torturing or programming others. In some of these classes, a live demonstration of the various areas of the brain is conducted, with one of the trainers using a probe to show the response to various areas being touched; and the children are taught to read brain monitors with real-time brain scans (much more advanced than the most advanced PET scans today), to read emotional and cognitive responses to stimuli. Practical “on-hands” classes in how to do programming are done in the afternoon as well.
  • There is a half hour break in mid-afternoon, when the children are free to play soccer in an outdoor courtyard, or other active games.
  • Around 5 pm is a short dinner break.
  • In the evening (and, at times, in the afternoons) are the mage and witchcraft classes. This is when the children are taught spells, rituals, how to sacrifice animals and humans (using techniques taught in the afternoon classes), and how to read and write the ancient magical manuscripts.
  • There is a short evening chapel afterwards, with a short talk about current world events and announcements of special events.
  • Bedtime comes at around 9 pm; although the children may be woken during the night during special holidays or seasons to participate in the associated rituals and/or festivities.

The above is a generic schedule. School runs year round, in 4-6 week intervals, with a short“ summer break” although training still continues. There is a short military camp at the end of each interval, and a special longer military camp. The children are also rotated through their host families, making coordinating scheduling quite complex (there are individuals who do this scheduling of children and host families to ensure that they are together at the same time). A typical child may spend a week in the UK with a host family, then complete 5 weeks of school; then, a brief military camp. After this, the child might be hosted in Germany for a week or two with their German family (mother, father, brothers, sisters), then return to the school for 4 weeks and military camp. After this, the child may spend 1 week in Russia, and 1 week in the US, then 1 week in Israel, then returns to Rome for more schooling.

While the child loves the host families in each presentation, they never fully bond to them; they know their real home is in Rome – with their brothers and sisters in their class, and with the Fathers they love.

The school years are very busy and full.  There is very little time for “recreation” or free time, other than the daily break in the middle of the afternoon.  In addition to the above schedule, the child will undergo regular programming, and will also be learning to program others (a training class which teaches the children how to install and reinforce programming is part of the core curriculum).  Under the supervision of the older trainers, the children are mentored until by age 12 they are full trainers, able to do all that the adults do in this area. Some children with specialized skills are given special mentorship, and become head trainers when they are older.

Leadership skills are honed. A class leader is chosen for their ability to inspire the love and loyalty of the other class members, their own strength and skills, and the ability to make decisions for the good of the entire class and think quickly. Each child in the class is ranked according to ability, and the leader will have a “second” (who takes over if the leader is ill) and a “third” who helps back them up. Learning to work together, help one another, and overcome obstacles together is an important part of the training. The children compete against one another in a friendly fashion, and the daily scores (individual and class) are posted on a digital bulletin board for comparison (test scores, athletic scores, awards, special achievements, etc.). The goal is to instill excellence, and the competition is fierce at times, but typically within bounds (cheating and sabotage is frowned upon).

As the child matures, they are mentored in going on missions (including assassinations, and intelligence gathering), and assessed for the ability to think quickly and strategically under pressure. They are also mentored spiritually, and learn increasingly complex mage and witchcraft/sorcery skills. The child is continually assessed for their areas of greatest ability and performance, and are often given advanced training in subjects or skills they excel in (such as martial arts, ancient languages, military strategy, politics, etc.)

The child learns to perform surgery, both normal surgery (for healing), and specialized surgery such as performing placental transplants (this technology has been available for years, and is now part of the prenatal programming done; the fetus is transplanted into another birth mother, and is told that the first one “did not want” the fetus; this creates a huge rejection wound and bonds the fetus even more strongly to its trainers and the demonic. The child also learns various neurosurgery skills, and may receive advanced training if they show ability.

During these years, the children go to other schools (often within a monastery) for a semester, and the children at the other schools will come and spend a semester at the Vatican school. This allows for greater cross-training, and helps the children learn how things are done at various places.

As the child becomes older, they become skilled agents in every area: gathering intelligence; following and getting rid of “targets” while staying invisible and untrackable; training others; advanced mages. By age 12 or 13, if they have survived the previous 6 years of training and missions, will have the equivalent of a medical degree, a law degree, an advanced degree in political science and languages, and are equipped to “fit in” within almost any culture and strata of society. They are advanced mages and sorcerers. The child is now ready to undergo the ceremony to become a full Father, and receive their black robes.

God in the Labs

Trigger warning: discusses Christian faith and prenatal abuse

When Christians talk about the “enemy” and doing warfare, they are referring to Satan and demons.  What many Christians may not realize is that those involved in occultic groups do the same; but to them, the “enemy” is the Christian God, and the “warfare” is against encounters with God.

Over time, as I recovered my own memories, and broke vows and agreements made to never remember encounters with the Christian God (made by my cult parts), I started to remember things that made me realize that even in the darkest situations, God shows up.

An example: I have mentioned the prenatal labs, where the birth mothers and the fetuses are tortured, with the intent of programming the fetus in the womb to hate God. This is the time when the cult loyal parts that hate God with a vengeance are created and tortured to fuel this hate.

But what I also remembered is the fact that not infrequently, in response to the fetal cries to God (fetuses do this instinctively, especially during the first three months in the womb), an angel would appear to stop the trainers; to prevent further torture. I remember one encounter when I walked into the lab, and saw an angel bend over the abdomen of a pregnant mother, and kiss her swollen belly (and the baby within). The angel had an incredibly loving look on its face.  I stared; the angel gave me a look of great sorrow (as in “how could you do this?”) and left. I was a bit shaken, but these things happened from time to time.  I had a very hard heart towards God at this point, and chose to ignore what I had seen.

It is not at all uncommon in the first few months of a fetus’s life, for equipment “malfunctions” to occur (e.g. equipment used to cause torture suddenly stops working for no reason; it later passes all checks). These are considered normal oddities, because the programmers know and realize that the one they consider the “enemy” (the Christian God) is interfering because of the fetus’s cries of distress.

I now realize that God encounters such as these were not at all uncommon. Most trainers are taught to explain them away; to ignore them, and to harden their hearts and continue doing the work in spite of seeing  divine intervention.  The True God was giving a witness to His power and mercy in one of the darkest places of oppression possible, and I had no excuse for my choice at the time to turn away, other than my own lifetime of programming.

I now realize that the Christian God is good, He is merciful, and He answers the cries of those who cry out to Him.  He never forsakes or abandons those who ask His help. It was due in part to encounters such as the ones I described above that I began to question what I was doing, and to wonder who the real “enemy” was: the One trying to stop what I and the other programmers were doing, or the one who commanded us to hurt others (e.g., satan). I came to realize that I was on the wrong side, and chose to switch camps, and join the side characterized by love.

My prayer is that all who see heaven invade into the darkest places (and I do realize they are dark indeed), will choose to take the hand of the True God who loves His creation.

 

 

Dealing with Recanting Faith

(trigger warning: discusses Christian faith and graphic descriptions of abuse)

One of the most difficult issues I have personally dealt with in my healing journey has been remembering the times I recanted my faith. I want to share from my own experiences, in the hope that this may be helpful to others.

Not every group uses the methods I describe, and not every survivor will undergo this. But some groups do, and some survivors of occultic abuse will. The amount and degree of effort will vary. The group I was from – the Jesuits – is one of the most extreme.

When I was 14, I became a Christian – a real one – in my American presentation. My life was transformed completely. For 3 months (which is unusual, I believe God protected me) I experienced the joy, love, peace of knowing the real Jesus and His forgiveness. Because I was already in a leadership position in the order, this could not be tolerated (they were Satanists, after all), and so after this initial 3 months, I went through terrible experiences to cause me to give up my faith and recant (these experiences went on for 6 weeks, culminating in watching the deaths one by one on crosses of my Vatican class of 12, who I considered closer than any brothers or sisters in my presentations). After the sixth was tortured in front of me, I recanted. I gave up, and denied Christ to save them.

At that point, I created a split based upon the despair and utter horror, who became “Christian 2”, the new presenter. This part agreed never to pray to the real Jesus, and lived a form of Christianity without its power. To seal the programming, I was sent on several missions to infiltrate Christian ministries in Europe and Asia, and was forced to other deeds, such as cursing the Holy Spirit,  and telling an effigy of “Jesus” that I hated Him, and other things.

For years, I struggled in my faith, and wondered where all the love, joy and peace I had experienced when I first came to know Jesus went.  All I felt when I prayed was tremendous guilt, shame and fear, without knowing why. I wanted to be Christian, but found it impossible. But eventually, as I went to Church, prayed, read the Bible, against all odds, Christian 2 became a Christian. Other parts deeper in did as well. In 1995, when I left the order the first time and fled to Texas, I began working on deprogramming. For several years, I was on “sabbatical” while they tried to determine what to do to me (during this time, my American children came to live with me as well). Then, in 2003, I went through a terrible time of reprogramming, when I was forced to recant again. The cruelty of what was done cannot be described (loved ones tortured to death in front of me, etc.).  This time it lasted 3 months. At the end of this time, I was in despair, weary and could no longer hold onto my faith in God, and so I recanted again, and denied my faith (choosing Satan) to “save” the lives of those I loved.

I also at that time swore my love and loyalty to “he who has come” who was a young child, agreeing to be his servant.

Over the next few years, I struggled with intense panic, the belief that I was “doomed to hell” and loss of faith. Prayer was painful. But while they were able to program me against hearing Scripture, or prayer, and to promote a false Kristianity, they could not program out the Holy Spirit. Over the next few years, I continued to pray in spite of the pain, and in 2007 left the order.

As the memories of my own recanting several times came up, it was tremendously difficult emotionally, and caused a faith crisis. I wondered if I had “crossed the line” where God could never forgive me. I wondered if all the verses in Revelation (about taking the “mark of the beast”) applied to me. I was in despair, believing that God would never be able to forgive someone who had recanted and denied Him not just once, but several times, and who had kissed the ring of the one who will be his enemy on earth.

As I have prayed and talked these issues out with others, I have come to believe that the true God is merciful, and He sees the difference between a reaction that is created out of fatigue, trauma and being pushed beyond physical and emotional endurance, and a true freewill choice.  I am not a theologian or minister, and I freely admit that I do not have all the answers to the questions these events raise (one day, I will ask Him face to face). But I do believe that I am forgiven: that the true God has heard my heart’s cry for forgiveness for these acts.

One thing that has helped has been to read books by Christians, such as Richard Wurmbrandt (who was tortured and in jail for years for his faith). Wurmbrandt describes pastors and others who recanted their faith in jail, and later came back to their faith: this means that if a person at a later date is no longer being traumatized, they can ask and receive forgiveness.

Another story that helped me was reading a story told by the early Christian historians (I believe Eusebius), about the apostle John. Apparently, when John was in his later years, he commissioned a young Christian adolescent into the care of the church leader there. John had to leave, and did not return for several years. During this time, the young man fell away from his faith, becoming friends with local rough men. He became the leader of a gang of robbers, and even murdered men. Years later, John came back to this church, and asked the leader what had happened to the young man. Upon hearing what had happened, John risked his life by going to the den these violent young men lived at, asking for the leader by name. Upon seeing John, and hearing his words of love and forgiveness, the robber leader fell to his knees, asked forgiveness, and was restored to the church. He eventually became a church leader.

This young man wasn’t tortured beyond endurance; did not see loved ones die to make him leave the faith. Yet when he asked forgiveness, he was completely restored.

I believe that God, in His love and mercy and goodness, will do the same and more for ANYONE who asks, regardless of ANYTHING they have done (I am an example of this). I believe that the true God can and does forgive those who recant, including the terrible things they are often asked to do to “prove” their change of heart (such as killing Christians, leading pastors and church leaders sexually astray, etc.)

Basically, I believe that the true God is greater than any programming or setup that an individual can be put through. He is merciful beyond our wildest imaginings or hopes, loves us, and can restore even the most wounded. I am grateful for this love, and my hope is that sharing this will help others who may struggle with this or similar issues.

 

Dealing with Rewards Programming

While survivors often disclose and struggle with punishment and pain programs, there is another, opposite side to these programs that often are not verbalized until later in the healing process. This is rewards programming.

Using operant conditioning principles, cult programmers will almost always program in these two opposites: extreme punishment (for disobedience) and extreme rewards (for obedience). Reward can take some of the following forms:

  • Bliss programming: this can include an emotional state of extreme joy or bliss that is put in as a reward that parts feel when they “do their jobs”. It can be machined in (using technology), enhanced with euphoria-causing drugs, and demonically induced as well.
  • “Heaven” rewards: as noted in the previous article on spiritual programming, starting in the womb, infants and children are taken through re-enactments of visiting the “celestial realms” where they are greeted by “stars” (ascended beings), “angels” and others, who all describe the joys of obedience and being rewarded with ascension.
  • Pain stopping: when a punishment or reprogramming sequence is running internally, and the individual “gives in” or stops the behavior being punished, one reward is that the pain stops.
  • Fulfillment of Deepest Longings setups: in this setup, which is cruel, the individual is asked what their deepest dreams are (this starts in early childhood). Then, the programmers do enactments in the programming labs, or through VRs, in which this deepest dream is fulfilled. Parts are allowed to spend time with a loved one in the setting they most desire, such as being married to a beloved friend, being allowed to raise children together, and having their dream job. This is a reward for “good behavior” and the parts (often presenter parts) are allowed to enjoy this reward for several days or weeks a year in return for obedience. They are threatened with the death of these loved ones, and the destruction of their dreams, should they ever disobey. This is unconscious, and the individual will have no conscious awareness of the programming. Instead, they will have the unconscious belief that they can only be “truly happy” or have their deepest dreams fulfilled, if they stay in the group.
  • Food rewards: sweet snacks and treats are often rewards for very young parts, and for parts trained to believe they are animals.
  • Sexual rewards: individuals may be rewarded by being held, caressed, or given sexual favors, especially parts that equate sex with love.
  • Status and promotions: this is a strong reward for cult parts, who have endured unthinkable pain and hardship throughout the growing up years. These parts are always given some kind of promotion to provide meaning.  The higher the status, the less the abuse is the belief held by these parts (which is untrue; it only takes a different form).  The chance to gain revenge on abusers is often part of this “reward”, and those abused in childhood will at times turn on those who hurt them badly, if they gain higher status. There are often special awards and recognitions given out to children who perform well at ceremonies for this purpose, yearly or more often. In some facilities, the child’s rank and performance, as well as the team rank, are displayed on a public digital board as an incentive to compete and work harder, since the children want to have a high score – and receive the medal or award at the end of the year.
  • Money: when individuals work hard for their group, they may be given financial rewards that the presentation is completely unaware of, such as a villa in Rome or on the French coast, or presents of money placed in accounts. The groups often state they will “take care” of the individual during their old age, if they work hard for them.

These are a few of the rewards that international occultic groups offer individuals. This is the other part of the struggle to heal when an individual chooses to walk away. They must be willing to become aware of the rewards and acknowledge the pull that they have on themselves and parts, and work out ways to provide incentives that are not given by the group.

An important part of healing is learning to “self reward”: to find healthy ways to get the needs that were previously met by organizational “rewards” (also known as “bait”) met. The needs are legitimate, and the longing and pain of giving them up can be part of the conflict that makes healing more difficult.

Candy and treats can be bought, and given to inside parts as recognition that they are saying “no” to outside summons or signals to go back.  Parts can be taught about the real heaven, or alternative internal joyful imagery can be created to replace the former “celestial” reward. Parts can ask for hugs from safe people to help meet the need for physical affection.

It is important to process both the traumas that preceded the “bliss” or rewards as well; and to become aware of how the programming was installed. Parts who underwent this, and who are grieving over the loss of rewards (sex, status, power, money, dreams) will need to have their feelings acknowledged, as the individual helps them through this process.

Eventually, the individual will discover a greater reward than the groups that use mind control can ever offer: a life free from abuse, where their wants, needs and choices are honored. The reward of a life free from receiving love only at a great cost. Freedom of choice and freedom from manipulation become rewards themselves, that can help greatly in the healing journey.