Resources: Books to Promote Healing


Over the years, I have read numerous books that have been helpful during the healing journey. Here, I will share what I believe are among the best. This is not a comprehensive list; there are many other excellent books. If any seem interesting, you can search Amazon to find a copy.


First, several books that address important aspects of Christianity and Healing:


Rebuilding the Real You by Jack Hayford. Based on the book of Nehemiah, it provides an awesome illustration of what healing – even while struggling – looks like.


Praying God’s Word: Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds by Beth Moore. Moore provides a list of various topics, including rejection, depression, and many others, and provides extensive lists of scriptures to address each, stories from others who have dealt with the stronghold, and some prayers about the topic.


Grace and Forgiveness: Learning to Give the Gift of Forgiveness to Others and Ourselves by John and Carol Arnott. I have read this one three times; it is an excellent study on what forgiveness is, and is not; and has stories that show the benefits of choosing to forgive.


Outsmarting Yourself: Catching Your Past Invading the Present and What to Do About It by Karl Lehman, M.D. Lehman offers excellent insights into why we react the way we do, even when we are unaware; and how to pray to the roots of what is going on.


Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller. Keller asks the really hard questions, and this book helped me through a time when I hated God because of the pain I had been through. It didn’t make it “all better” but it did provide insights and an understanding of the struggle that goes beyond the normal quick “pat” answer.


The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman. Allender’s books are always good, and again, he asks great questions that don’t minimize the impact of abuse, and shares how others have dealt with them.


Secular (Non-Christian) Books that Promote Understanding Healing


Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse by Allison Miller. All of Miller’s books are excellent, and this is an outstanding workbook/self-help guide for survivors.


Coping with trauma-related dissociation: Skills training for patients and therapists by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele and Onno van der Hart. Published by therapists, for therapists but with information helpful for survivors, it is a thick book filled with information about dissociation and how to work towards healing.

I would love to hear from others who read this blog on what books have been helpful to you, to share with others.

The Role of the Genetic Parents in Programming

In other articles, I have briefly discussed the role of the birth mother in programming, if prenatal programming is done by a group. But there are two other individuals who are also important to programming: the genetic father, and the genetic mother.

While often the genetic mother (who is a cult member) does not carry the child during pregnancy (this role is given to a “carrier” or “birth mother”), she will be an important part of both the prenatal and post-natal programming. During pregnancy, due to the generational inherited sin in their DNA, the genetic mother and father will be part of important programming sequences designed to foster both the acceptance and love (reward) and rejection and punishment that are foundational to programming. The unborn child and the newborn baby recognizes spiritually their genetic parents.

Once the child is born, the genetic parents are often present at the initial rituals done to “welcome” the infant into the world with a sacrifice. They may state how glad they are to finally see the infant; but they also make clear the spiritual and performance expectations for the infant from its first breath. The genetic father may place a demand upon the newborn to receive a demonic spirit, in return for life. Both genetic parents, as well as the primary trainers (the parents may also be trainers) will blame the infant for the death of the birth mother, causing confusion: the infant knows that the adults at the birth did the real murder, and the infant then comes to realize that the adults he or she depend upon for survival are not only dangerous, they are liars. In order to survive this unbearable reality, the newborn will often dissociate.

The genetic parents teach the infant a terrible reality: that survival requires pretending, listening to lies from the adults around the infant, and pretending to believe them. Part of the infant always knows the truth: that the things they are told to believe are not true. But the infant’s survival depends upon pleasing its parents and trainers, and so the infant will dissociate, and create parts designed to make the lies believable.

For example, in a typical setup during infancy, an infant will be told that one of the other infants is “bad” and “deserves to die”. The infants in the room are all aware of the real truth: this other baby was just being a normal baby, it did nothing worthy of death. Infants are incapable of adult thought and predetermined action, as imputed to the supposedly “evil” baby. But in order to survive, the infants all agree to believe this lie, and watch wide-eyed as one of the other infants is put to death in front of the others. The message to believed is given during this trauma: “bad” (disobedient) babies die, and “good” (obedient babies” live. This message is incorporated into traumatized parts.

When the genetic mother or father tell their child that he or she is loved, or good, or accepted, the child responds in a unique way. Biologically, the infant is wired to respond to these individuals, and spiritually, their spirit understands that these are the individuals whose DNA conceived them.  Messages of love and acceptance have even greater importance than from others, especially if the infant is allowed to interact with them to any great degree.

The genetic parents will most often be the individuals who give the child over to Satan or another spiritual entity that the cult group worships.  This follows a spiritual principle, in which the genetic parents have the greatest spiritual authority over the child, and their doing so gives the ceremony a greater spiritual impact, keeping the generational iniquity for the bloodline continuing.

It is often the genetic mother or father who first chains a child to an idol, or leaves the child alone in a room where a demonic entity is expected to enter, and “teach” the child. This spiritual giving the child up to the demonic becomes an important area to address, when becoming free of this type of control.

Becoming free of generational occultic abuse will include looking at the role that the genetic parents held, and breaking all soul ties, sexual ties, ritual ties, and others. It will involve breaking the curses, vows, covenants and agreements made by and with the genetic parents.  Finally, at some point, the survivor will need to be willing to forgive their genetic parents for the abuse, manipulation of attachment needs, and dysfunctional role modeling that occurred.  This forgiveness cannot be rushed, though, as the survivor needs time to examine both the love, and the hate, that they felt for these individuals. The need to dissociate between loving and hating the genetic parents (and other cult caretakers) in order to survive, is one of the foundations of early dissociation, and healing this will take time.

Healing from Dissociation: Some Steps

Note: this is an excerpt from the New Training Manual for those who support survivors that will be published next year. Used with permission.

Healing from Dissociation: Some Steps in the Process

People don’t dissociate when they realize they no longer need it. The issues that cause dissociation to continue include emotional conflicts that the dissociation solves (such as how to continue to live with an abusive parent or spouse; or the desire to prevent torture or punishment of the self or loved ones by an abusive cult).

To heal, these conflicts will need to be resolved over time, as trust is built.  This normally happens within the context of a safe counseling relationship, supported by the survivor’s “community” or people who are safe and supportive that they interact with.

The goal in healing is to allow some attachment to individuals who do not hurt the survivor, while the tasks of building the skills for doing inside work and developing safe support are worked on. As the survivor builds trust and confidence, and feels safe, they will often share more of their internal reality with the counselor. This is a collaborative process: the client is encouraged to share without feeling judged or criticized.

As trust and safety are experienced, some of the deeper issues the survivor struggles with will often come forward. The survivor may fear attachment within a relationship, and may sabotage relationships that support healing (by acting hostile; withdrawing; forgetting appointments, or pushing “hot buttons” for supporters). As healing progresses, and internal parts come forward to “meet the counselor” or friends of the survivor, they may project feelings onto others that they themselves experience. Examples can be when one part of the survivor cares about and trusts the therapist, but another part comes out that is hostile, convinced the counselor is trying to “trick” them into trusting, or will eventually hurt the survivor. This is a form of re-experiencing in the present emotions and feelings that are caused by past events, and the survivor will need help in sorting out what is past, and what is present, reality in relationships.

If the client is seeking reparenting, they may discover that if they are in crisis, the counselor responds more quickly; and may develop constant “crises” in order to receive attention or support. If this occurs, the counselor can address this directly, provide compassionate feedback regarding the behavior, and develop a plan with appropriate boundaries that will meet the needs of both the survivor and the counselor.

Early Phase of Working with a Survivor

Many survivors will state that their goal is to “integrate” and “get better”; often as quickly as possible. What many counselors and survivors do not realize is that healing – and the process of integration – begins during the first session with a therapist or prayer minister and continues over time. It is a process, not a “point in time”.

Early in counseling, safety issues will always take first priority. Because many individuals with severe trauma and DID struggle with self harm issues and/or feeling suicidal, it is a good idea to ask directly: “Do you ever want to hurt yourself?” or “Do you ever feel suicidal?” during the initial history. If the individual indicates they struggle with these issues, a full suicide risk assessment should be done, and a plan to prevent acting on these impulses developed. This will include a list of who to call if they feel this way (including crisis help lines); and referral to a mental health professional if you do not have clinical training.

If the survivor has an eating disorder that has caused their weight to go dangerously low, there may need to be planning done, that includes hospitalization if the weight goes below a certain point. The survivor may need to attend alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, or in a program to help them give up addictive behaviors, if present.

The counselor should also assess whether abuse is still ongoing when an individual presents with DID. This includes asking whether their spouse ever physically beats, slaps, threatens, rapes or otherwise hurts them; or whether there are threats or physical abuse from family members if the individual is living at home. At times, the individual with DID may initially be unaware that they are currently being abused, and over time, this information will be shared as trust is built. It is important to do safety planning, and provide referrals as needed (such as to a women’s shelter, etc.), to provide physical safety for the individual.

Emotional safety is also important. The survivor may need to learn skills in setting healthy and appropriate boundaries in order to feel emotionally safe. This may range from helping someone recently divorced from an abusive spouse realize that they can arrange to have a friend with them when their spouse comes by to pick up a child in a joint custody arrangement, to helping a survivor decide how much contact, if any, they wish to have with an extremely abusive family of origin.

Beginning education about dissociation and DID, if these are present, should be done as well. Many times, individuals struggling with DID will believe that the symptoms they experience (such as hearing internal voices, losing time, or acting like completely different people) mean that they are “crazy” and they will be afraid. Helping the individual you are working with understand what causes dissociation, and that it is a treatable disorder with a good prognosis, will help relieve some of this anxiety. Take time to answer the questions and concerns that are often raised. 

Once safety is established, the survivor will need to learn some basic skills before they begin to work on trauma memories (ISSTD, 2011). These skills include:

Learning to identify the emotions they are experiencing. Many survivors have never learned to be aware of when they are feeling emotions, or how to label them. They often describe feeling “numb” or “a little funny”, but have never been able to share “I feel sad”; “I feel angry” “I feel helpless” with someone who is safe. Learning how to be in the body, and how to identify emotions, is an important skill that can be learned. Emoticon charts can be used for this purpose; or, asking the survivor to stop and try to identify what they are feeling from time to time. Over time, the survivor will use this skill to identify the emotions they felt during trauma as it is brought up into conscious awareness, for processing.

Starting to build communication inside between parts. Studies have shown that individuals with DID who do the best work with their dissociative states (Gabbard, 2014; Steele, Boon, Van der Hart, 2017;  Knipes, 2015). This is a process, with the individual first indicating when they are aware of a switch; or, they may try to depict parts using various methods such as drawing a house to represent them, and creating pictures of who lives in the house. Some survivors prefer to collage; or to use dolls to depict who is inside. Right brain activities, such as art, music or inside imagery can be used to help get to know “who is inside”. Some survivors imagine a conference table inside, and invite others to come and join them at the table, letting Jesus be in charge of the meeting.

Building communication can be encouraged through journaling exercises, with parts invited to share what they like and don’t like; or what they wish for, as well as their fears and concerns. Collages can be created on themes such as “what childhood was like”, or “my favorite things” with various inside parts encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings.

It is important that both the helper and the survivor do not “judge” these parts, regardless of the conflicts or issues they present. For example, it is not uncommon for survivors of sexual trafficking to have highly sexualized parts inside whose only reality before coming forward has been to invite sexual activity. While the individual needs to take responsibility for the actions of these parts (which are part of him or her), it is important to not apply labels such as “bad” “demon” or attempt to “get rid of the part making all the trouble”. Instead, it helps to adopt an attitude of caring curiosity, to help explore with the survivor how this part helped them cope with what was overwhelming to them. Once they realize they are not being condemned, or judged, and their concerns are listened to and addressed these parts will often quickly agree to help others inside, and can become an important part of the healing process.

Identity or Demon?

Survivors of ritual abuse will often have internal identities programmed since early childhood to believe they are “demons” (see chapter on programming for more information). This parts needs to be differentiated from actual demons (the parts will likely have a demonic attachment), and treated with compassion as a coping response to an extremely painful reality. Often, the “demons” are actually young, frightened children inside who have been given difficult jobs internally such as punishing parts who disobey, or frighting parts who talk to people outside the cult group. Attempting deliverance on alternate identity states will not work (the parts will simply not budge, laugh at the minister, or go deep inside, feeling wounded, hurt and angry, and deciding that Christians cannot help them. Helping the survivor help these parts, valuing how they helped them survive their past  instead of trying to get rid of them, will promote communication, healing and stability inside.

Over time, the survivor may begin to have parts co-present, with two or more parts presenting at the same time. This can help build further trust, as the parts learn to work together and share information. Eventually, co-consciousness will develop, with the barriers between parts blurring as increasing amounts of information are shared, and parts actually “share the same mind” as they become aware of what the other is thinking and feeling, and may even blend temporarily.

By increasing communication, and working with the counselor, the traumas and conflicts that created the dissociation will eventually resolve.  As the conflicts are resolved, instead of constant fighting between parts (as may be seen early in counseling), increased cooperation between inside parts occurs, with working together for common goals.

Helping the survivor learn skills to cope with distressing emotions is also important before approaching any trauma memories during a session. These skills can include:

  • Learning to feel “grounded” (or, present in currently reality) when panic, rage or other intense or painful emotions come forward. This can be accomplished using various techniques, such as using touch (feeling a soft blanket; holding ice for a few seconds in the hands, feeling the feet on the floor); smell (smelling a fragrance; or a sharp smell such as a lemon); sight (opening the eyes if they are closed; looking around the room and identifying two objects that are blue, or any color chosen; looking out the window and describing three things seen, etc.); hearing (listening to music; describing two sounds they can hear). The main thing is that the survivor becomes aware of the present. If they seem “tranced out”, you can softly touch them on the shoulder and speak their name (get permission beforehand to do this, and explain why you will be doing it). It is best to practice these techniques together, and then ask the individual to practice them at home during the week, especially if they feel triggered or experience emotions or flashbacks.
  • Mindfulness techniques: this is being aware of being present in the body, in the present moment. Doing this can be combined with thinking about a comforting or helpful scripture the survivor chooses, to help them stay in the current moment.
  • Deep breathing: when someone feels anxious, they often will breathe rapidly. Learning to take slow, deep breaths while being aware of the feeling of taking air in and out can help a person feel calmer. This can be combined with grounding thoughts such as “it isn’t happening now, it’s in the past” (if a flashback is occurring) or “I can make it; this feeling won’t last forever.”
  • Containment exercises: using visual imagery can help with containing emotions or memories that feel overwhelming, until they can be worked on together with a support person. This can include creating a box to place the feeling in temporarily, with the promise to open it later when someone else is present to help (this promise needs to be followed up on); or creating a room where memories and emotions can stay until they can be worked on in a safe setting.

During this early part of healing work, and throughout the healing journey, the survivor will be working on building trust with you and their support people. This includes learning how to have a healthy relationship, which is something the individual may have never experienced before. It is not uncommon for a survivor to enter into prayer ministry or counseling with behaviors learned over a lifetime to keep people away (which felt safer), and to struggle with self-sabotaging the efforts of others who care and want to help.

Learning healthy relational skills is learned by teaching (explaining what healthy boundaries are; or how to approach confrontation in a healthy way) and by modeling: the survivor will be watching you closely to see how you respond to different situations for cues on how “normal” people act, especially if they are aware that their family of origin was dysfunctional. As the survivor interacts with individuals who are not dissociative and who are safe, such as friends they develop who are not part of their past abuse, they will also have an opportunity to practice these skills. They will then begin bringing into sessions the conflicts, hopes and fears that these interactions bring up, which allows further opportunities to learn relational skills, and promote healing inside.

If the survivor is in a non-abuse marriage, and they report conflicts or the marriage is failing, you may want to refer them for marriage counseling. There are also resources available in print and online for the spouses of individuals with DID, that can help them better understand the issues. It is a good idea to have at least one or more sessions with the spouse present, when the survivor feels ready, to discuss their condition and what can be done to help support them, and to answer questions and concerns.

Part of learning relational skills will include the host/presentation learning to take responsibility as a whole for the actions of all parts. If the survivor is a parent, they will need to learn to act as an adult around their children; and learn appropriate boundaries for behaviors. This is usually accomplished over time as communication with parts is established, and negotiation with parts regarding behaviors can be done.

Dealing with Negative Self Thoughts

Most survivors of severe trauma struggle with negative messages about themselves: “I’m ugly” “I’m worthless” “I’m nothing but a whore” “Only Satan could love me, everyone else hates me” “I will never heal, I’ve been hurt too badly and there’s no hope”, etc. While healing of the issues and traumas will be how full resolution occurs, initially, the individual can practice self-compassion, or thinking positive thoughts and using images of self-compassion to help reduce the strength of these messages.

This can include “God loves me, and so does ________”, filling in the blanks with supportive people in the survivor’s life. Or, “Even if I don’t feel this way yet, I am valuable, I have skills and gifts that are unique to me” “I survived my past, and can now survive remembering it, because I have support now, I’m not alone” “Nothing is impossible with God”, etc.  It can help to develop a list of these messages that the survivor keeps taped to a bathroom or other mirror as a reminder. Imagery can include taking some time to hold oneself, giving the self an internal “hug” and saying “It’s okay, I love you” “You did the best you could under very difficult circumstances, and it was good enough” “Each day, I’m healing a bit more” or other messages meaningful to the survivor.

Spiritual Controllers

Note: this is based upon a short book I wrote a few years ago.

Master controllers for a Jesuit spiritual system will reflect the primary spiritual relationships in the child’s life.  Here, several are discussed.

Althea (the Tree of Life)

These will include the “unholy trinity” of the Father (Satan), the Son (the antichrist and the beast) and the Spirit (Althea, the tree of life).  The Fathers worship all three. In fact, the Arbor de Vitae monastery just north of Rome (the primary Jesuit monastery) is believed to be the dwelling place of Althea, the tree of life. This wicked creature lives in the basement of the monastery, and the young children (and adults) will often hear her moaning at night to be fed. And they do feed her, at regular intervals, with sacrifices of every human variety.

The Jesuit children are taught from infancy to participate in these rituals; as infants, the Fathers place their hands over a baby’s, and teach them to make the sacrifice. As the child gets older, they must take a more active role, or suffer severe punishment by Althea (which appears at times like a huge willow whose branches “whip” the child terribly).

No child ever wants to be called down for a spiritual whipping of this manner, and so they quickly learn how to feed the tree very efficiently. After a ritual, the tree will be quiet for days or weeks, but will always begin moaning again to be fed. The child grows up knowing that in order for there to be peace, they must give this entity what it asks for. The child will have been dedicated to Althea, will have a representation of her in their system, and must dismantle it, kick out the spiritual entity, and heal the human part.

Helping the Survivor

When the tree of life is pulled out (only after trauma processing, support, and the system is ready to do so!) the three roots (white, black and silver gray) must also be rooted out, since these represent early infant demonic traumas used in installing the roots of the tree of life and the q’ballah internally. This takes extensive prayer, seeking the Lord, and asking the Holy Spirit to help the survivor overcome the fear of uprooting these demonic strongholds.

The tree of life will often have grown to a large tree with 1,000 points of life, each representing a life taken (including those of infants), and the demonic that entered as a result, during the installation of the tree. These lives must be grieved for; the murders repented of, and forgiveness received, to break the hold of the tree of life on the survivor’s mind.

Some survivors will also have a mirror images of the tree of life, or a “tree of death” internally, that again is based upon the ritual murder of young infants, with the roots attached to the heart of the survivor (they are wrapped around the heart, and the survivor may believe that they will die if the tree is taken out).

The survivor will need to realize that the Lord is able to undo even this type of programming; can overcome the fear of uprooting the demonic. It can help the survivor if they are reminded that the fear they feel is the fear that the demonic feels at losing its “home” inside, and that they will actually feel more peace once the tree is rooted out. They can pray and ask the Lord to uproot it for them; this may be seen visually inside as Jesus reaching in and pulling it out, or as an increased peace as the rituals are repented of, and the person exercises authority.

The relief may be dramatic, or occur over several weeks. But the survivor will have more internal peace and healing once they choose to get rid of this voracious entity, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill them instead.

The Beast

The Beast has a room and a lair in the Vatican dedicated to him. This room supposedly dates from early Roman times, when sacrifices were conducted in the original cave located there that the Vatican was built over. This angry and vindictive spirit makes its presence known, and is eagerly sought out by the Fathers, since they believe he gives great power over enemies. The young child will be placed during the second year of life in a dark, cave-like lair underneath the altar in the Beast’s room. They will spend 24 hours in this lair, where the Beast visits with the child, makes suggestions, and eventually has the child give in to its requests (to kill another child put in with them).

This is extremely traumatizing to the young child, who feels intense guilt. The child will have internalized the Beast (see the above discussion on programming methods used). This internal Beast only knows and understands killing and destroying, and spiritual warfare and deliverance must be done to free the human part trapped by the spiritual part. The Beast also gives energy to the punishment systems described previously, and will demand absolute obedience to it and the Pantheon, until the individual learns their authority in Yeshua, and is able to break free.

Satan

Many times, it can take years of dedicated work to go beneath the tree and beast layers, and reach the true system controller: Satan.  From pre-birth and birth dedication, this is the being the Jesuits truly serve, in both his incarnations: as satan (cruel, vicious, demanding, destructive and lying) and Theo (kind, benevolent, manipulative, charming). The child will have been bonded to both, as described previously.

Satan’s Throne

During the toddler years, at times the child will be physically placed on satan’s throne. When supplicants crawl up the hall on ground glass, or nails, or hot rocks, satan will be sitting on the throne next to the child. He will ask the child what kind of judgment should be made; or what price should be paid for a request, and the child will answer. If satan is pleased with the answer, he and the child will simultaneously make the pronouncement. If the child is too kind-hearted, they will be punished severely until they learn the types of judgment that are acceptable.

This internalizes the satan identity for the core master controller, since the adults treat the child on satan’s throne as if he/she were satan himself, in every way. The child is actually temporarily possessed, in that part, by satan during the ceremonies and judgments. The evil behavior convinces the survivor that he/she is evil and anchors the belief in the part that they are actually satan.

Helping the survivor

 In later years, the adult will have to overcome very difficult memories of the lives taken or asked for when in that role, and the cruel decisions made. They will need to repent of these deeds, and ask the Lord for forgiveness (which He offers freely). It can help to remind the survivor that the Lord knew all about their past, even when they didn’t; that He is not surprised or repulsed by them or their past. When they came to Jesus, He knew all about each act they committed, and forgave them.

They will also need emotional support to process the pain of these memories, and to be treated as loveable, in spite of the horrific acts that they committed. This is a challenge, since many Christians want to “turn away” from those with a past such as this. But the survivor is looking to their therapist or support person to demonstrate the love of Christ to systems that may have no idea of what true Christianity is.

Once they “get it” and realize they are forgiven, these parts will quickly give up their old jobs and choose freedom, if they believe they have the physical safety to support healing.

AddressingCommon Challenges to Healing Work

By Jo Getzinger

Note: the following material is from the upcoming New Training Manual for those who Help Survivors from CARE; used with permission

1. Demonic Control

Survivors of ritual abuse not only need to greatly increase their joy capacity in order to consciously handle their horrific stories held in the unconscious mind; they also often experience demonic control over the emotions, information and parts that contain those memories.  During ritual events, survivors are frequently forced to accept demonic spirits over parts.  Demonic spirits then dictate to those parts the amount of disclosure, if any, intensify traumatic emotions and they can flood memories and traumatic emotions if memories do begin to emerge in order to overwhelm the survivor.  Parts who have cooperated with agreements to commit sin in rituals (these parts are often coerced through threats or punishment and torture) are vulnerable to continued demonic control and punishment due to un-repented sin.  The sin gives ground to the demonic to continue to control these parts. 

Furthermore, parts are often reluctant to accept Jesus and His forgiveness because of the programming to believe He would never accept them; they could never be forgiven for the evil they participated in; and/or through cult trickery the parts are convinced that Jesus is duplicitous, evil, condemning and untrustworthy (parts have been introduced to false Jesus actors who are actually cult members dressed up like the historical Jesus and then participate in evil). Clarity regarding who Jesus really is is important for healing this wound.

Important truths for addressing demonic hindrance to memory work

– God is willing and able to forgive all sin committed by the survivor

– Vows, covenants and agreements made with the demonic, whether under duress or ‘freely given’, are NOT permanently binding and can be broken (the demonic do not truly keep their sides of the agreements anyway). They are also sin and should be repented of, renounced and revoked.

– These spirits are easily removed by the true Jesus as the survivor repents and gives Him permission to do so

2. Vows and Agreements

In cult rituals, survivors are often ordered to take vows and agreements against their healing.  Common agreements in the form of vows are “not to remember” the ritual or traumatic event.  This vow will commonly manifest in the presenter system or host system as saying, “I don’t know” to any question asked that pertains to the traumatic event.  The host is unconsciously repeating the very vow they originally agreed to take.  This becomes a continued agreement with the demonic to keep the information buried in the unconscious.  When the host utters the words “I don’t know”, she agrees to forget again and nothing is remembered.  Through the perceived experience of the host, these words anchor to nothing and she really feels like she does not know.  It is common to find parts in the system with the name and role “I don’t know”.  These are blockers to remembering and healing.  Until the host and presenter systems are ready to challenge vows like “I don’t know” and repent of agreements made with the demonic, memory work will likely be impeded. 

3. Internal Conflicts

In internal conflicts regarding memory work, there are parts who want the memory work to happen, and parts who do not. These conflicts are often invoked by concerns about the ‘cost’ or ‘consequences’ of the memory work: beliefs that memory work would lead to insanity, chaos, destruction or jailtime; beliefs that memory work would cause loved ones to be hurt by the cult; beliefs that God can’t really help with memory work so bad things will still happen, and so on.

Parts who are reluctant to trust the true Jesus have likely been taught to trust only themselves and their own self-strength and self-sufficiency and to do the cult’s bidding because it appear to be the path of least resistance.  These parts were subjected to dealing with the demonic and cult member’s torture, rewards and punishment system from the time they were young. This causes them to readily make deals with the demonic and cult members in order to survive and save love ones.  These loved ones (those who the parts are purposefully bonded to in the cult group) are also threatened by the cult and used by the cult to blackmail the survivor into vows and agreements against one’s own healing and doing evil deeds for the cult to buy time for self and others to survive.  They often believe they have no choice but to continue to cooperate by attending rituals in order to minimize punishment from demonic torture and increase rewards (perceived saving self and others from punishment while receiving other fleshly perks). 

The rituals always require a price to pay to demonstrate obedience and loyalty to the demonic and cult members.  While saving self and those they love from punishment, they are forced to participate in harm to those the cult has chosen as victims.  Frequently, those they love are also victimized but not as badly they are told as these loved ones would be treated if the parts decide to become disobedient to the cult.  The evil deeds the parts are forced to do to show their loyalty and accept vows “not to remember” in order to buy survival for themselves and loved ones becomes a demonically enforced amnesic barrier to the traumatic event.  This is coupled with the fear that the cult and the demonic will carry through with their threats that worse will happen to self or loved ones if the disobedience continues and more is remembered and reported to outsiders.  It is common for survivors to report seeing internal walls that keep the survivor from seeing what is behind the wall.  This can be a self-constructed wall patterned after a real wall where the original trauma took place.   This serves to remind the host that she cannot go past the wall or she will remember what she does not want to see.  There is often forced sacrificing in front of this wall to make a covenant not to remember anything beyond the wall or anything done in front of that wall to seal the memory in unconsciousness.

The internal conflict is the desire to remember and heal while also not wanting to remember because it is too awful to remember and something worse will happen if it is remembered.  Hopefully, the above example of this common internal conflict clarifies why these conflicts need time and work between the survivor and helper together.  THIS WORK CANNOT BE RUSHED.  If the helper gets pushy or impatient with these parts who feel as if theirs and their loved ones’ very survival is riding on discovering the truthful and correct answers to their dilemma, they will withdraw and continue to strike bargains with the demonic and cult members. 

The conflicted part’s questions must be answered to their satisfaction about the historical true and living Savior, Jesus.  There must be time given to them to test the truth of His Word by attempting to give Him some control to see if He is consistent and powerful enough to protect parts from demonic retaliation.  They must have time to begin a relationship with the true Jesus to experience His great love for them.  I have never seen the LORD introduce Himself to parts in an impatient, pushy way.  He is willing to wait patiently and will gently be a helper to them when they are ready to ask.  He is always “an ever present help in times of trouble” Psa. 46:1.  When parts are satisfied that they have their questions answered, the deceptive beliefs that were infused by the cult conquered, and the character of the true Jesus firmly understood and experienced, they will be ready to ask Him to forgive vows they made and evil deeds done.  They will be able to trust Him to protect themselves and loved ones from demonic and cult retaliation instead of continuing to bargain with terrorists for their lives. 

They will need to see from you, the helper, the modeling of LORD’s true character (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control).  Once they see that there are real Christians who do their best to live out the gospel, the host can learn to model the same to parts. They will be drawn to the LORD’s character and love because you and the host have been consistently demonstrating the loving-kindness of the LORD to them.  They will be more open to believing the LORD is different from the example they saw in the cult because of the example of your life and they will be open to experiencing His love directly from Him.  You and the host are often His bridge to these wounded and deceived parts who carry some of the greatest conflicts and obstacles to healing.  We will discuss more on various common internal conflicts in a later chapter.

The overarching purpose of ritual abuse and mind control: remaking man in Satan’s image

The staff at CARE will be publishing a new training manual for helping survivors of ritual abuse and mind control. The information in it is excellent, and below is a short excerpt from one of the chapters in the book (used with permission). Trigger warning: describes ritual abuse, mind control, cult control.

When encountering ritual abuse and mind control, people often ask, “Why? What’s the point of this? Why are they even doing this?” While different cults can state their ‘reasons’ for the abuse and other activities they engage in, such as  “To establish the new world order where mankind will finally enjoy peace”, “To free mankind from the limitations God placed on them”, “To shepherd mankind”, “To be the secret, wise leaders behind the current world leaders”, “To bring the return of the Nephilim,” “To make the children strong and fit to lead”, “To protect our nation”, “To worship and serve Satan who wants the advancement of mankind, unlike God who wants to limit mankind”, “To understand and go beyond the limits of the human mind”, “To gain power”, “To make money” and so on, I believe that to truly understand the why of ritual abuse and mind control, we have to examine the spiritual matters behind the discourses and practices of the cults. That is to say, we have to understand the intent and purpose of Satan and the other spiritual beings who continually seek to destroy mankind.

Ephesians 6:12 states: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

The enemy is Satan, not the members of the cult, no matter how abusive, depraved or committed to a satanic or Luciferian agenda they may be. It is critical to keep this truth in mind. While we acknowledge that they are involved in grievous sin, acknowledge with both anger and grief the harm done to their victims, and support survivors in taking any necessary steps to find safety, we cannot have the attitude that cult members are our or the survivor’s enemy (even if you hear they are doing witchcraft against your church, leaving dead animals on your doorstep or other very disturbing things). In hearing the horrific, inhumane activities of the cult, one must not lose sight of the fact that enemy is not the human abusers (who have indeed sinned greatly and must repent of their sin against God and people), but the spiritual forces of evil.

God loves each member of the cult and longs for their repentance. He wants the church to love and help the worst occult abuser. He longs that they would receive His mercy rather than judgment, and that they find healing for the childhood wounds and strongholds that have them repeating the sins of their fathers. In fact, in examining the underlying reasons that any cult member continues in their activities, these reasons are usually rooted in unresolved early childhood terrors of pain, abandonment and death (See Section 2). No matter how high-ranking within their respective cult a person may be, at the most fundamental level there is a frightened, abused inner child; under all the high-sounding philosophy and propaganda of political and/or occult power and ascension, the person’s goal is survival.

Satan, on the other hand, the one described clearly in the Bible as our enemy who longs to devour, is committed to the destruction of mankind to spite both man and God. His ultimate purpose in ritual abuse and mind control can be summed up as follows: to ‘remake’ man and women in his image in order to completely control, use, then destroy them, and in doing so, wound God’s heart. Cults who worship and obey him, who execute the strategies he gives them for administering the cult and whatever affairs they are involved in, who listen to him for ideas on how to torture and ‘train’ their children, who act according to his lies that they will one day rule the earth with him and his son, who believe the lies that it is a good idea to have Nephilim walk the earth again, who believe the lies that they have occult ‘power’, and the lies that they have the right to ‘rule’ in a town, city, country, region or the world in this present day, are frankly very deceived.

The rest of this chapter discusses the attempts of Satan and the other spiritual forces of evil to remake mankind into Satan’s and other demonic images on the individual and collective level through ritual abuse and mind control.

1. Remaking of man and women on the individual level

Through trauma, conditioning and covenants from a person’s earliest years, Satan attempts to ‘remake’ a human being (who was designed in God’s image with a heart and conscience), into his own image: a person who thinks, feels, and acts like Satan would in every circumstance (See Sections 2, 3 and 4 for descriptions of this process). To be like Satan, a person will have to be able to lie without caring, steal without conscience, kill with no compunction and destroy for the sake of destruction. In hearing survivor accounts of cult activities, it would appear that ritual abuse and mind control are very capable of producing people who are disconnected from their own humanity and are willing to do anything Satanic, and even appear to enjoy it.  For instance, survivors have shared stories of being impregnated by their own fathers year after year, then being forced to kill and consume the infant upon birth as a sacrifice to Satan, and as they grew older, forcing their own children into similar activities. Survivors have shared other stories of torture, occult activity and murder, both as victims and as perpetrators, that go beyond the goriest horror movie, comic or novel.

A person who thinks, feels and acts like Satan will also hate God and be full of pride, wanting to be ‘like God’ and set his/her throne above God’s throne, whether literally or figuratively. Satan teaches cult children to hate and blame God for their abuse and any pain in the world, and to see God as being ultimately the one who causes mankind pain or as the one ‘holding mankind back’. He also teaches children in the cult (through their programmers) to believe that they can be like God, or ‘ascend’ through the various spiritual practices of the cult, in particular, through worship and obedience to him. Satan also teaches them to hate Christians, and to viciously turn on and persecute any cult member who truly chooses Christianity and to leave the cult, and to attack, discredit and discourage Christians who are helping cult survivors. Survivors have shared about acts of gratuitous blasphemy, as well as missions and assignments to damage Christian churches and organizations. This hate is also directed at any secular organization or individuals endeavoring to help survivors heal or that oppose the agendas of the groups in any way.

Satan is duplicitous, masquerading as an angel of light while being a bringer of darkness with the intent to destroy. Cult members are duplicitous, being satanic, Luciferian or ‘dark’ in one side of their minds, and being ‘Christian’ , ‘normal’ or ‘light’ in the other side of their minds. In one side, a cult member can act like a wolf to destroy others, and on the other side, be the gentlest man in the neighborhood who brings soup to the shut-in elderly. A cult member may ‘infiltrate’ a church masquerading as a gifted intercessor who loves the scriptures and just wants to serve the leadership, but secretly sow discord, jealously and suspicion among the fulltime and lay leadership over a period of years. A cult parent may chide the teacher at his child’s elementary school for unfairly accusing his child of disrespect and insist his child be moved to another class, but hand this same child over for sexual abuse during cult events. A cult teenager may attend the youth group at church to ‘learn more about God’, but have parts who have the assignment to befriend and lead the senior pastor’s children into sexual sin.

In his dealings with men, Satan ‘hijacks’ what God offers mankind – adoption into a ruling family with full sonship where they are loved, secure and have purpose. This is not because Satan admires God – but because Satan knows that these are the very things that the human heart was created to need and want! Therefore Satan imitates these very things to deceive and entice men: Satan offers ‘sonship’ to members of cults who practice ritual abuse and mind control. He leads them to believe that they know his will, a will that he deludes them into believing includes peace and prosperity, a good hope and a future for them. In imitation of how Jesus is seated at God’s right hand, Satan promises cult members that they will rule with him. As Jesus was loyal as a son to His Father’s house and lived to do His Father’s will, Satan expects cult members to be completely ‘loyal’ and live to do what he tells them to do. As the Bible describes one of our signs of sonship is God’s discipline of us and that Jesus himself was made perfect through suffering, so Satan leads cult members to believe that the pain and suffering they endure growing up in the cult is loving ‘discipline’ and ‘training’ to ‘make them strong’, and that any torture for disobedience or failure is ‘correction’ and ‘love’. Alongside this propaganda, survivors have shared being told to call Satan or other designated spirits ‘father’ or even ‘papa’ or ‘daddy’ in certain rituals or contexts, and Satan and other spirits calls them ‘my son’ or ‘my daughter’ in return. 

In short, a fully trained and successfully programmed cult member is like Satan: he or she is duplicitous, capable of acts of harm against others without any compassion or hearing from their consciences, hating and wanting to elevate himself or herself above God, is committed to fulfilling Satan’s will on earth and sees himself or herself as being ‘like Satan’ with all the rights and responsibilities; e.g., a son of Satan. This is the person that Satan is able to control, and what Satan knows will deeply grieve God’s heart. His purpose in ritual abuse and mind control is to ‘create’ this person: someone that he can use in any way he pleases with no resistance at all. This is the person Satan hopes has a mind so divided, conscience so seared and is so filled guilt, shame, bitterness, rebellion, grief, fear, pride, abandonment and hate that he or she would never humble themselves to return to God, or allow Him to extend mercy to them. In this way, Satan and other forces of evil hope that he would never lose his control over them, and that these men and women would be judged in the last days.

However, man and women were not made in Satan’s image:

Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and all over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

We were made in God’s image. Even with our inclination to sin after Adam and Eve’s original disobedience[1], we still have a conscience (e.g.: Jonah 1:13-14; Romans 2: 14-15) with standards of right and wrong that reflect His image in us. God is loving and compassionate. No one has to tell or teach a little child to have compassion on someone who is being tortured; the little child will be horrified and try to stop the torture, unless they are too terrified or are tied up or caged. The youngest child will choke or gag on blood when it is offered straight, and knows instinctively that murder is wrong the moment he or she views one. These truths stand true, even in the occult bloodlines with unsurpassed generational sin: children have compassion when someone is being tortured, and are horrified by blood-drinking and murder[2]. A cult child’s participation in blood-drinking, murder and the torture of others, numbness or ‘eagerness’ towards these and other occult activities, comes only after much conditioning through extreme trauma and reward, and often, the use of drugs and technology.

God is our creator, and He created us in His image. Scripture clearly shows that this cannot be changed: for God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). It is impossiblefor Satan to remove the image of God in man and replace it with his image, despite the hours upon hours, years and years, generation after generation in many cases, of torture, trauma and reward. What really happens, rather than Satan’s desired and purported remaking, is that he only convinces the person that it is so. It is through this conviction, rather than a genuine sonship with Satan, that the person is controlled.

As the person has been led to believe since early childhood that there is no other way to survive, the person ‘shuts off’ his or her own heart and ‘accepts’ Satan’s values and purposes as his or her own. The person is surrounded by his or her cult community and so has these satanic values and purposes constantly practiced and reinforced, in a world that largely ignores and denies the existence of ritual abuse and mind control and so offers little help or support for those who want to leave the cults and change their lives. However, when the person stops believing that there is no other way to survive than to comply with Satan’s will, and returns to God, God has absolutely no problem removing the personal and demonic distortions over that person’s true identity and restoring him or her to peace, joy and truth in all things. Again, the church must remember that the cult survivor and the perpetrators he or she describes are not the true enemy of the church or of God. Each cult member is a potential Paul of Tarsus. They must be viewed as they really are: the lost who need saving, and the prodigals who the Father longs for.


Healing in the Context of the Faith Journey

Over the years, I have come to realize  that healing for my parts and myself, is often very much related to healing in my walk with (the Christian) God. In other words, as my perception of God and His goodness is healed, and the lies I was told about who He is, or what He is like, are replaced with truth, my parts heal as a natural response.

This makes sense, since some of the deepest and most fundamental programming done early in my life was intended to damage my ability to know and love God. For instance, one of the first splits that occurred in the womb for me was based upon my frantic need to save my birth mother and myself. As she was being tortured, and begging me to “save” her from the abuse, by turning away from God and turning to Satan, I complied. I literally turned my back at that time on God , whose loving presence I was aware of, due to my anger at the abuse, which the trainers blamed on God, saying “If God cares for you, why is He allowing you and your mother to be hurt like this?”  These individuals conveniently forgot to give Satan any blame, other than blaming God for his creation.

Healing of this fundamental wound has meant being willing to turn back to God; to ask and receive His forgiveness for choosing to be my own savior, and spending a lifetime of making bad choices as a result.

I finally had to come to the point that I realized that I was helpless in the womb; I did NOT have the ability to “rescue” that the programmers (including my birth mother) told me I did. This helplessness, and realizing that there is only One who can truly help, was the one thing I did not want to ever look at, face, or feel ever again.

In His goodness, God did show His love, kindness and mercy to me time and time again. I spent a long time avoiding the real issue: can I really trust God? Not in the pat “Christianese” way, in which the correct answer is “of course”, because that’s what good Christians say, regardless of what they really feel.  Instead, I had to face all of the pain, helplessness, rage at God, and hatred of my own vulnerability to reach the point of saying “God, I need You. I am sorry I have tried to figure out how to do this for a lifetime on my own, without You; please forgive me for listening to Satan’s ideas of how to never be helpless again. “ Because Satan lied. He promised I would have power, and never be hurt like that again, or never feel pain like that again, and simply put, he lied.

Satan said I would be rescuing my birth mother and myself, by choosing him, and he lied. She ended up dying, and I ended up being controlled, for years.

I had to come to the point of realizing that every programmer, and every spirit other than the Christian one, had tricked, lied, deceived and betrayed me; and that I bought into these lies because I didn’t want to face the despair of realizing I had made the wrong choice – to turn away from God – very early in life.

What it took a lifetime to realize is that the Christian God forgave me for making this choice. He didn’t hate me, He loved me.  He understood the intense emotional and physical pressure I was under, and He truly forgives it all, from the first choice to turn away, to the latest struggle to want to rescue others I love.

Awhile back, the LORD showed me what healing looks like. I saw (the real) Jesus in a room, that was filled with shining dots of different colors, scattered like a cloud throughout the room. Gradually, the dots began coming closer to Jesus, and they also simultaneously began coming closer to each other, until directly in front of Him, they were close together and joined.

The LORD told me that this is what healing is like. As my parts and I look at the real Jesus, and draw closer to Him, we draw closer to each other (because He gives us the courage to share and communicate and really see each other’s realities, and to take the barriers between us down that the programming installed). Over time, we have been joining as we get closer to the real source of love and healing; while this has been gradual, He sees the finished person: all the aspects joined together in loving and worshipping Jesus.