Now that the problem of accessing has been defined, what can the survivor, and their helper do, to prevent reaccessing? Especially with the knowledge that early in therapy, reaccessing occurs in nearly 100 % of survivors? It is very common for survivors to be given cover memories that they “broke free” or that the cult abuse ended earlier in life, while in reality, they have been continuously cult active. It is common for survivors to be reaccessed or have cult contact of some kind, until the amnesia starts coming down.
The cult does not just “let people go” when they become adults, or enter therapy. Instead, the accessing will often increase during this time, as cults or government agencies do not want to lose members.
With this knowledge, the survivor will need to find out which parts are currently in contact with the cult. One way to do so is to give up all phone, email and online activity for a period of time, such as two months. The parts who are currently contacting will probably complain loudly, or the survivor may even become suicidal. The person may become restless and feel a huge urgency that they are “missing something important” in emails or online (the survivor will always have legitimate sounding reasons for continuing online and phone activities, such as checking bank statements and paying bills, but behind these is their programming to recontact running). The Christian presentation, with support, then has the opportunity to bring truth to these parts and help them break out of their cult-trained beliefs.
The desire to stop cult contact must come from the survivor themselves. While it may be obvious to the therapist and others that the survivor is being reaccessed, they will be oblivious to this fact, and will become very angry/defensive/hostile if confronted about this.
It can be helpful to educate the survivor and their parts on why it is a good idea to stop cult (family) contact. Some reasons to do so include:
- The survivor gets hurt
- Loved ones of the survivor get hurt when they are accessed
- Accessing impedes healing, because parts get retraumatized
- It is an extremely poor Christian witness to people who are still in the cult
- It is an extremely poor Christian witness to the survivor’s own parts
- It is a lifestyle of extreme duplicity
- The survivor has to actually hurt others during a reaccessing session
- The survivor may be forced to accept agendas against their therapist and other survivors
- Cult loyal parts that recontact will be rewarded for contact, which actually increases the bonding to those reaccessing, making healing more difficultThere are always significant traumas and double binds behind recontact programming, and the therapist will want to help the survivor look at these issues. Cult loyal parts will have difficulty stopping recontact if they believe that failure to do so results in the torture or death of someone they love. This is where the ability to trust the LORD with the safety of double binds is so important. Saying, “LORD, I give my double binds to you,” does not at all ensure that this is being done. Instead, HOW the double binds were installed, and with whom, and the specific vows to protect the double bind will need to be remembered. Often, these vows are elicited by the survivor watching a double bind being tortured; unable to take any more, the survivor will cave and agree to stay in contact. They will have no memory of this event, since they will also agree to forget the event, or else their loved one will be tortured. This is why consistent memory work and dedication to healing and looking at the events that run recontact programming inside are so important. If the survivor is an international survivor (one who was hosted in several countries as a child and adult) their primary double binds will likely be in another country, and they may be amnesic to them. This will also need to be looked at. Breaking double binds with the American family may not be sufficient to stop reaccessing if there are unconscious double binds elsewhere.
- The survivor’s first programmer/trainer will often be their primary double bind. They will often be completely amnesic to whom this person actually is. Their systems will be invested in protecting this person above all others, and so they will disclose other people as double binds first. The true double binds often will not come out until later in therapy. This is where accountability can help. Until the survivor is aware of and has broken their recontact programming, and has truly dealt with their double binds, outside accountability can help prevent reaccess. Safe accountability would be either a non-dissociative person, or a survivor who has broken their own double binds and recontact programming and is co-conscious with their most loyal cult parts.
- Survivors who are in the early stages of healing should never be asked to be accountability for another survivor’s safety. They will be completely unaware of the fact that they themselves have a strong recontact agenda, which can include helping other survivors “reconnect” with family (cult) members, or others. A safe accountability person should be made aware of the survivor’s safety plan (any survivor should have a safety plan, if they are serious about stopping reaccessing). This will include awareness of any phone calls and texts made and received, and any online activities of any kind; for instance, the survivor may ask the accountability person to be with them and watching at all times that they go online. Failure to have accountability jeopardizes both the survivor and others that they could impact. While it can be a “bother” to have accountability, the alternative can be much more painful. Once the survivor stops Internet, phone and other contact, and has accountability in place, they may actually feel worse for a period of time as they are breaking the programming. The programming is actually being drawn out so the survivor can look at it: they may feel suicidal or depressed, or shaky for a period of time. This will pass as the programming is broken.
- Stopping Astral AccessIf the cult cannot reach the survivor by physical means, they will attempt to do so spiritually, often through astral projection. These demonic spirits will appear, often in the middle of the night, to the survivor, and will frequently appear as double binds/loved ones. The astrals may appear to be in great distress, and will attempt to “blackmail” the survivor into recontact with messages that the loved one is being tortured, or sobbing that they miss the survivor. The survivor will need to discover and close the spiritual doors that allow spiritual access. This process will include:
- Finding out which parts inside have the job to maintain spiritual contact with loved ones in the group.
- Why they want to continue this contact
- What these parts believe will happen if contact is stopped. It is common to feel immense fear at first, at the thought of stopping astral contact, since the rituals and programming done around this is extensive, and starts in infancy. Spiritual parts may attempt to punish the survivor for attempting to stop it, until they become aware of the danger of continuing it.
- Once all doors are closed, both spiritually and physically, parts may start feeling safe enough to come out and disclose to the survivor, and heal. This includes getting rid of the demonic spirits that sit within the parts whose job is to maintain astral contact, and resolving the traumas that they have undergone.
Over time, astral contact will lessen as the survivor learns to use their authority to stop the contact. Simply commanding an astral to depart in the name of the true Jesus is sufficient to make it leave; doing this builds faith in the survivor’s parts and witnesses to them over time, and they will be more and more willing to turn to the Christian God instead of to the dem